Utopian

2008-12-10T13:52:00.001+04:00

في ليلة ... ليلاء

2007-11-10T21:22:00.000+04:00

في ليلة .. ليلاء
تكلمت مشاعري
.. تخاطب الشموع
عن وحشة الجفاء..
تمردت محاجري
و عانقت..
دموع جرح الكبرياء
في ليلة .. ليلاء
يا ليل ..
استر دمعتي
و قف معي في محنتي
يا ليل .. إني أحبهم
..لكنهم ..
باعوا مودتي
و صرت عندهم كباقي الأشياء

النارنج

Night Thoughts

2007-10-20T02:29:00.000+04:00

It's 2:40 AM.

I know that you're sleeping, but all I can think about is you. You're the most fun I've ever had, and I don't ever want to lose you. I'm going through a lot of physical pain right now, but it's worth it. Every moment is worth it all.

The things that scare and hurt us are often the things that bring us the most joy

2007-10-17T17:17:00.001+04:00

Why is it that I often miss you so much and yearn to hear your voice? Especially in cases of distress?

I sometimes wish and imagine, what would happen if you owned up to everything? How would I react?

Well, people often wish for things that they know are mostly impossible to reach... Can't hurt to dream can it?

I See You Everywhere...

2007-10-05T09:44:00.000+04:00

...I find it quite strange myself.

I know it's been over six months since you passed away, but I still sometimes wake up in the middle of the night after dreaming of you. Is it strange that I sometimes subconciously trick myself into thinking that you're still alive? It's quite creepy, especially when the realization hits me that you're not alive.
I remember my brother telling me that when he came back from studying abroad he had in his mind that he'd go visit the entire family, and had you in his mind too. The realization that you were gone didn't hit until after he arrived by some time.
I stopped thinking of visiting you, but sometimes, when I remember those days, or not even remember, it just happens without prior warning, I can feel your hands in mine, marked with wrinkles which symbolize the wisdom of your age.

I remember in your funeral I kept thinking to myself, all these people are here for someone who's under the ground that they're walking on. Someone who's physically available, but spiritually gone.
The thought made me sick to my stomach. It was really hard, holding myself. I know I might seem like I act fine about you in front of people, but I know deep down inside that I'm still not fine, and probably won't be for a while.

I tried to talk about you with someone so close to me. I remember finding an envelope you sent me, where you wrote a congratulations on the cover, and that someone was on the line when I found it, and when I told that someone the reply I got was unnerving, basically telling me that I should get over it already, and that I should stop putting myself in a situation where I keep holding on to the past. I was quiet, put the envelope away, hearing the excuses in my ear, trying to make the situation lighter. Well, what was said was said. This happened more than a few weeks ago. I can't forget it, though.
I'm not the type to forget easily. Is that a bad thing? Maybe it is, especially when someone attempts for me to forgive them for something, thinking all is forgotten. I used to act like it was all forgotten even though I don't possibly forget. Now, I just don't act, it's better.

You know, I always find it strange when someone accompanies your name with the phrase "May God have mercy on her soul" afterwards. It's just so definitive.
When someone talks about you or when I remember you, I remember this videoclip I watched recently, the one I recorded when we were at your house. I remember the days of having fun with family members, and the joy and sadness that we shared.

D'you remember when I was around 12 years old or younger? I remember sitting with you by myself, and engaging in a really interesting conversation with you. I was quite shy at that age, barely spoke to adults, but found you to be really appealing. You told me of things I never knew about family members. I remember us talking about how someone dreamt of someone else who had passed away long ago, and how I dreamt another dream of that same person, and you were so interested in what I had to say. I never thought you would be, and it just encouraged me to keep talking. I loved that day, and I love that memory.

I remember trying to tell someone how I felt like your death was sudden. They told me it wasn't sudden, and that I knew it was going to happen, especially since you've been in the hospital for so long and after what the doctors said. They don't really understand what I mean by sudden, cause I still think that it's that way.
I had seen you just a month ago. When they took you to the hospital we all thought it was one of those routine things, where you'd occassionally spend some time in there for a few common reasons and then leave. That's why, when visiting you, I felt so bad when seeing you. You looked so tired and spent, I really didn't realize it was serious. Then they took you to cure you abroad. Doctors there said you were too late for them to help you. Maybe you were there for a week or so. You were supposed to come back here, everyone knew you were going to, and we all wanted to see you. You were only two to three days away from coming back, and that's when I knew...
You see I feel like no one understands me here. Maybe except for my cousins, as they lived the same situation with me and all felt, too, that it was quite sudden. Everyone else saw it as a normal occurence, something that was expected to happen. Some people tried to give me false hope, saying that you'll be fine and what God intends is what will happen. They knew that I knew how they really felt, and what they thought, and that my thoughts and theirs weren't so different, yet they still said it. Trying to make someone feel better under false pretences will just annoy the person, especially when they know that the truth is so blindingly obvious to themselves and everyone around them.
It still happens though doesn't it?

Is talking to you creepy, even though I know you're not around? Maybe this is trying to get over what happened, maybe it's another step towards feeling fine.
I don't think I'll ever be fine, I just might forget a bit more as time passes by, that's all...

I love YOU

2007-09-24T02:18:00.000+04:00

I really do, from the bottom of my heart!

It hurt and pained me so much to relive the events of the past when you had hurt me, and relive them with you. The wounds came undone, and all the stitches came undone. Yes, it was in the past, but remembering it and putting oneself in that situation makes the pain as fresh as it had happened just now. But now, there's a difference. Now, I love you more than I had before. Now, I can't bear to go through another disappearance and cutting ties again.
My dear, when you said "forever", I cherished that word. I still do, and I know, 1000%, that we will last forever.

You are my one, my only, my love, my life, my everything.
You're in the air that I breath.
In the soft breeze that plays with my hair. I like to think that your fingers are that breeze. Just the thought makes me shudder.

I love you my dear, I truly, really do.
I never thought that being in love could cause such strong emotions. I'm so thankful that I'm sharing them with you!

I can't believe it. I'm so happily in love with you that I'm actually crying from the intensity of that love!

Just don't cry my love, don't feel bad for hurting me in the past. Listen to the keyword, "past" - it's over and done with. Today we are at a much more advanced stage that is nothing compared to that ugly past.

What I would give to feel your soft lips right now...

A Measure of Love

2007-08-27T22:54:00.000+04:00

I once heard that in all relationships, there always has to be someone who loves the other person more.
I sincerely hope that it's not me...

Which one do YOU think you are in your relationships?

Is it even possible to love each other the same "amount"...?
There's always the gardener and the flower in relationships... Have I always been a gardener? Being a flower sure feels nice, though.

I've tried being in a relationship within that construct that the active work of the relationship ebbs and flows between the two individuals. I don't know if two people can be at the exact same level at all times. One being the giver and the other the receiver; it should flow. It's the best kind to be honest, and makes the two individuals extremely happy.

I can honestly say, though, that I haven't really experienced being the "flower" so to speak, just probably the "gardener", or the flowing relationship.
I hope I'm wrong about this though...

Tagged by Dots

2007-05-09T18:28:00.000+04:00

A - Available or Single
Neither

B - Best friend
Dots and a few others

C - Cake or Pie
Cake

E - Essential Item
Phone and laptop

F - Favorite color
Orange-red

G - Gummi bears or worms
Who would choose worms?? Gummi bears!

H - Hometown
Dubai

I - Indulgence
Chips + 7up + TV Show

J - January or February
January

K - Kids
Love them! Can't wait to have my own

L - Life
Test of patience

M - Marriage
Determined by fate, and is a part of life

N - Number of Siblings
6 (including me)

O - Oranges or Apples
Apples!

P - Phobias
Don't think so... maybe normal fear of heights

Q - Favorite Quote
No favorite

R - Reason to Smile
Seeing my actions have a very successful effect on others

S - Season
Winter

T - Tag three other people
Three? Dots tagged MD already so I guess:
I Have A Dream
Insomniac
(I'm not particularly popular in the blogosphere :p )

U - Unknown Fact About Me
I tend to daydream and smile a lot by myself. Once a professor wrote this as a comment to a paper of mine:
"Keep up the good work; and why do you always seem to be laughing at me—or something else—when nobody else is? I don’t mind, but it is interesting."

V*W - Worst Habit
Laziness

X*Y - Your Favorite Food
Watermelons, noodles, sandwiches, some pasta, apples...

Z - Zodiac
Gemini

Political Correctness

2007-04-28T03:47:00.000+04:00

Politically correct people irriate and frustrate me, especially when I don't realize that they were able to trick me with their political correctness, or "PC".

Examples:

Q: "Do you believe me?"
A: "It doesn't matter what I think as the circumstances force me to take such an action against you."

Q: "Are you ok?"
A: "Well I don't think of things as being ok or not anymore I just believe in adapting to the reality of the situation and living with it and moving on."

Q: "Will you stop animal testing?"
A: "We will definitely work on changing policies to satisfy public needs."

Q: "Where were you?"
A: "I was -insert mundane, boring details on everyday routine things trying to make it sound like your day is filled while it really wasn't-."

PC person: "He's an economically challenged man who is currently between jobs cause he has an attention deficit."
Real person: "He's unemployed and poor cause of his bad behavior."

PC person: "She just has an alternative body image."
Real person: "She's fat."

PC person: "Don't blame him, he's just emotionally different."
Real person: "He's crazy."

PC person: "It's in the early stages of finalisation."
Real person: "I didn't finish it yet."

---

I was pretty close to studying politics. Ironic.

Keep it simple and straight people!

Don't You Hate It...

2007-02-28T01:18:00.000+04:00

When almost every past significant event in your life haunts you? All the pain inflicted on you by others - loved ones and not so loved ones - comes back in one night...

Becoming an Insomniac!

2007-02-13T06:09:00.000+04:00

I don't know what got into me. I literally cannot sleep for over 5 hours lately, and I have no good reason to explain it! Nothing's on my mind and I'm fine! Why can't I sleep?!

Anyway, it's 6:10 AM now and my first class starts at 10. I'll have to think of something to do until then.

I have environmental science at 10, a requirement I didn't take when I first started. I always hated biology, so I don't know how well I'll be able to cope. I did choose this teacher cause I took a class with him before, and know how strict he is with handing work on time. He grinds his students well, which I like. It really prepares one for the final.

I don't like my subjects this semester. Intro to IT and Computing seems boring, maybe except the web design part. Business Communication seems nice, I like writing and presenting. So maybe it's not so bad.

I should seriously take a pill for tommorrow night; this isn't healthy!
My eyes look so red

Peekvid

2007-02-03T12:48:00.000+04:00

Don't you hate having to wait for four to six hours for your PC to download a movie or tv show that you really want to watch? P2P programs, like Limewire, Bittorrent and Azureus usually take a few hours before the entire file is downloaded onto your system.

I have a solution for you. If, like me, you're tired of waiting, Peekvid is the solution for you.
You don't have to wait. Click on the movie you want to watch and it will show it to you on a full screen. It usually comes in parts, but it's okay. If you have a DSL connection, then it's perfect for you.

I love it.

(watch Little Mosque on the Prairie in TV shows. It provides an interesting perspective of Muslims living in the West.)

Poncho

2007-02-02T22:51:00.000+04:00

I'm currently reading a book, Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki with Sharon L. Lechter, C.P.A. In it, Sharon talks about her little boy.
He asks her the classic question that all kids ask parents, "Why do we need to go to school?"
So she answers with the classical response saying that good grades ensure a successful future, to which he replies by saying that good grades don't ensure a good future as getting a job just means working really hard to earn money while those who have a lot of money didn't even get a good education to start with, like Bill Gates who dropped out of university and Micheal Jordan who pursued a career in basketball.
While it's true that most people aren't as lucky to get high incomes with no educational background, let's face it, to us education equals security. Living on the edge is quite risky. However, truth be told, a sound education does not guarantee big money. It guarantees being fed and clothed, but does not guarantee success.

So what is it that makes one successful?

Well, according to the authors of the book, a mixture of investing plus financing skills is the solution. Apparently, Sharon met Robert at a workshop he was teaching where he was trying to teach people these skills through a game. The game had basic balance sheets and income statements which many couldn't understand. There was a business owner and a banker who were struggling with these basic financial statements. What does that tell you about financial knowledge?

The book's title, Rich Dad Poor Dad, came from Robert's childhood, as he was raised by two fathers who he loved very much. One was rich the other poor.
Here are a few excerpts from the book:

one dad would say, "The love of money is the root of all evil." The other, "The lack of money is the root of all evil."

[...]

One of the reasons the rich get richer, the poor get poorer, and the middle class struggles in debt is because the subject of money is taught at home, not in school. Most of us learn about money from our parents. So what can a poor parent tell their child about money? They simply say, "Stay in school and study hard." The child may graduate with excellent grades but with a poor person's financial programming and mind-set. It was learned while the child was young.

[...]

One dad had a habit of saying, "I can't afford it." The other dad forbade those words to be used. He insisted I say, "How can I afford it?" One is a statement, and the other is a question. One lets you off the hook, and the other forces you to think. My soon-to-be rich dad would explain that by automatically saying the words "I can't afford it," your brain stops working. By asking the question, "How can I afford it?" your brain is put to work. He did not mean buy everything you want. He was fanatical about exercising your mind, the most powerful computer in the world. "My brain gets stronger everyday because I exercise it. The stronger it gets, the more money I can make." He believed that automatically saying "I can't afford it" was a sign of mental laziness.

[...]

My two dads had opposing attitudes in thought. One dad thought that the rich should pay more in taxes to take care of those less fortunate. The other said, "Taxes punish those who produce and reward those who don't produce."

One dad recommended, "Study hard so you can find a good company to work for." The other recommended, "Study hard so you can find a good company to buy."

One dad said, "The reason I'm not rich is because I have you kids." The other said, "The reason I must be rich is because I have you kids."

One encouraged talking about money and business at the dinner table. The other forbade the subject of money to be discussed over a meal.

One said, "When it comes to money, play it safe, don't take risks." The other said, "Learn to manage risk."

One believed, "Our home is our largest investment and our greatest asset." The other believed, "My house is a liability, and if your house is your largest investment, you're in trouble."

Both dads paid their bills on time, yet one paid his bills first while the other paid his bills last.

One dad believed in a company or the government taking care of you and your needs [...] The other believed in total financial self-reliance. He spoke out against the "entitlement" mentality and how it was creating weak and financially needy people. He was emphatic about being financially competent.

One dad struggled to save a few dollars. The other simply created investments.

One dad taught me how to write an impressive resume so I could find a good job. The other taught me how to write strong business and financial plans so I could create jobs.

My poor dad would also say, "I'm not interested in money" or "Money doesn't matter." My rich dad said, "Money is power."

[my rich dad] encouraged me to study to be rich, to understand how money works and to learn how to have it work for me. "I don't work for money!" were words he would repeat over and over, "Money works for me!"

It's interesting how schools now teach us things that we don't really use in real life. Actual life skills depend on one's luck.

Another good book, How to Sell Anything to Anybody, by Joe Girard, was an enjoyable read. He's a salesman, the guy who stands in the store waiting for customers to come in.
Except that he doesn't wait. He has unique techniques. One of them is keeping track of the customers he sells to using a system. He sells cars, so what he basically does is he calls you up maybe three years after he sells it to you, asking you if you're interested in buying a new one. He also sends personalized birthday cards like the ones from Hallmark instead of the stuffy corporate ones. He simply signs it, "Joe Girard, Chevrolet Motors." It might cost that much more, but let's be honest here, wouldn't you remember the guy who sent you the sweet card? I know I would.
He keeps balloons, candy and cigars in his desk drawer so that if a potential customer walks in with his kids, he knows what to give them to entertain them. He's a delight to talk to and makes excellent small talk. One of the things he does is he fills in the order form as the customer is speaking so that they don't have to do that after the customer says he wants the car, he can simply sign the form and take the car home with him.
Another technique is selling right there, right then. Customers hate waiting, so if someone says they want a navy blue car he won't say it'll arrive next month, as that's too long and the customer would've looked at another dealer by then. So he tells the customer that he has the car in stock, maybe it's a powder blue one. He takes him down to where they keep their inventory, pretending to curse his incompetent staff for this mistake. He then starts to compliment the car and tries to flatter the customer. Chances are, he'll leave with it.

Yesterday, I was out shopping with a friend. We saw this beautiful Mexican poncho that I knew would look great on her. She seemed hesitant as she never bought a poncho before and wasn't very open to buying something that was completely new to her.
As we started to walk away, I remembered reading Joe Girard saying that one of the techniques he used was to put the customer inside the car. Making a customer try something makes them feel obligated to it. So whatever it is you're selling, clothes or cosmetics or electronics, make sure you make the customer try it. There's a higher chance they'll buy it.
I turned back and told her, "Will you look at that?! It's screaming, 'Please try me on!' Go ahead just try it on you don't have to buy it. Let's see how it looks like on you."

She bought it.

Family Pride

2007-02-02T22:06:00.001+04:00

I told you last night that I might be gone sometime, and you said, Where, and I said, To be with the Good Lord, and you said, Why, and I said, Because I'm old, and you said, I don't think you're old. And you put your hand in my hand and you said, You aren't very old, as if that settled it. I told you you might have a very different life from mine, and from the life you've had with me, and that would be a wonderful thing, there are many ways to live a good life. And you said, Mama already told me that. And then you said, Don't laugh! because you thought I was laughing at you. You reached up and put your fingers on my lips and gave me that look I never in my life saw on any other face besides your mother's. It's a kind of furious pride, very passionate and stern. I'm always a little surprised to find my eyebrows unsinged after I've suffered one of those looks. I will miss them.
- Gilead by Marilynne Robinson

Pride is a horrible thing, especially when one feels it towards one's family. Breaking barriers is difficult; how often do you hear children tell their parents they love them after the age of 13? Why is it so difficult? Don't we all, as children, yearn for a show of affection from and towards our parents?

Imagine a hypothetical situation: The child is used to viewing parents as the people who the child needs to get permission from for certain things, not as the people who care for the child. The child grows up, and the parents decide to change. What's the point now? The child is a young adult; adults can take care of themselves. When a person grows up, after a childhood of neutrality, the person finds it difficult to cope. The poisonous adjective, pride, comes in the way.

Dealing with pride is difficult. Not dealing with it is disasturous. We tend to form high opinions about ourselves... Why feel higher than the people who clothed, bathed, fed and raised you? We're fragile, and without them, God knows what would've happened to us. Showing gratitude towards parents is difficult for many, but with the strength of willpower, anything is possible.

New Blog

2006-12-23T13:17:00.000+04:00

Blog moved to: Utopia

I like the new blogger!

The Meeting

2006-10-08T21:35:00.000+04:00

This story is definitely more believable than the original CIA crap.

Would You Like a side of Fatwa's With that Burger?

2006-10-02T16:00:00.001+04:00

Buy your own fatwa in India for as little as $22.

Read all about the story here...
I can think of many fatwa's that I'd love to buy ;)

Memories

2006-10-01T21:27:00.000+04:00

Memories do last forever, but sometimes nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.

Unblocked!

2006-09-30T13:29:00.000+04:00

Finally!!! Moaning does pay off! Either that, or Etisalat is starting to get a little jealous of DU!

The news that 7DAYS readers have been waiting for: Etisalat have finally
decided to unblock a number of hugely popular web sites that, over the last few months have not been accessible to the public.
[...]
the public is once again free to enjoy sites such as Myspace.com, Youtube.com, Piczo.com, Metacafe.com and Hi5.com, among many others.

- 7Days Newspaper

This is great news! I'll start abusing YouTube!

Quandry of the Lonely Blogger

2006-09-06T15:54:00.000+04:00

I read an interesting post that I want to share:

“Let’s say you write this awesome entry - you research, you dissect your sources, you analyze, and you write a most stellar entry that you feel really shows your abilities as a writer. You check your email obsessively for the next couple of days waiting, waiting for the comments that are bound to flood your inbox. Only nothing comes, just some junk mail from the newsletter you signed up in class last month and a service promising to boost your penis size.

The next day you write an entry about how your dog Lucky just knocked over your aloe plant, spilling dirt and aloe babies all over your kitchen floor and about how you proceeded to slip on the dirt, thus whacking your head on the edge of the kitchen table and how you now have a lump the size of Nova Scotia on the back of your head and about how you think you are going to drop out of college to become a squirrel herder because you are pretty sure your fall in the kitchen was a “sign.” And, lo and behold, twenty people leave you a comment in the next five minutes.

What the heck?”

Source

Why be normal...

2006-09-01T12:48:00.000+04:00

...when you can be happy?

Why care what other people think? What society forces upon you? What you should believe in opposition to what you'd like to believe?

Why don't you do what you want to do just because it's good for you?

Forget people, think of yourself!

3D Posters

2006-08-27T16:10:00.000+04:00

XYZ Imaging Inc., the world's first holographic printing bureau, have been developing a new kind of holographic technology that allows for full 3D motion pictures.

Take a look at these examples:
Terminator II
A soccer player
Final Fantasy

For those of you who are interested, you can order a 3D custom-made poster. It's not cheap; prices vary from around $350 to $3300 depending on the size.

I don't think it'll be long before movie theaters adopt the idea and use such posters to advertise movies, especially within the sci-fi/action genres.

Subliminal Messaging

2006-08-27T15:33:00.000+04:00

Click on this link... scary!

A Few Bits and Pieces

2006-08-22T20:01:00.000+04:00

I came back from Omrah yesterday. It was a great journey. I'll hopefully write about it sometime soon.

For the meantime, I had the opportunity to surf the internet today, and did a little research. I thought that my findings would interest others, and that's why I'm sharing them:

Arablish

A funny description on the Arabic-English chat language in Wikipedia. I personally don't mind reading such text, and I do use it for smsing and instant messaging, but I prefer to blog in a formal style. I feel that long texts need to be written in a proper format in order for the writer's thoughts to be digested in the best possible way by the reader. I also prefer to read proper English or proper Arabic rather than a mix of both; I feel that it gives a better understanding of the text for the reader. Too much use of color, too many "lol's", "ROFL's", etc., ugly fonts that are supposed to be funky, BLOCK letters and too much use of smileys can really turn me off wanting to read whatever is written no matter how rich the content may be. Text appearance is important to me.

Improving Googling

Why can I sense Dots smiling? haha
Do you ever click on what appears to be a promising site from google to get an error "File not found" message? Do you ever google and not get what you're looking for? Here are a few cool sites that are pretty good at improving your googling abilities:

10 tips to improve your googling
Google Genealogy Style
Google Help: Cheat Sheet

One of the strange things about google is that it has powerful abilities that very few people know about. I personally feel that what largely contributes to that fact is its extremely simple search page which just has a search box present; adding a large sized link under the query box to the Cheat Sheet page would really help many people. I'm not suggesting an ugly Yahoo! page filled with all sorts of stuff, just a link under the query box would do; I love the simple Google style.

Scientology

Why do people regard Tom Cruise as crazy? What does Scientology have to do with any of this? What is Scientology?

Scientology became quite famous after Tom Cruise's adaptation of the faith, and many people started to read up on the subject. Many converted to the faith. Most people say that it's a complete fraud while others strongly believe in it.

Read the following excerpts taken from 7days article "The truth about Scientology":

...there’s Scientology’s booklet, ‘The Way to Happiness’, which gives guidelines to better living such as ‘be competent’ and ‘don’t do anything illegal’. Whereas the bible makes do with ten commandments, the book runs to 21. But the leaflet, according to Miscavige, can work miracles. After being given a copy, no inmates in an Israeli prison were ever readmitted. A US cop handed out copies to known troublemakers and crime dropped 38 per cent.

(...)

Using a little science of my own, it’s time to turn to Google. Scientology was
founded by pulp fiction writer L Ron Hubbard.Hubbard is either a great man
who crossed the globe in search of answers, or a complete fraud, depending on
who you believe. His son, L Ron Hubbard Jr, claimed on TV in 1983 that “99 per
cent of what my father ever wrote or said about himself is totally untrue.” What
is true is that Reader’s Digest quoted Hubbard as saying “writing for a penny a
word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best
way would be to start his own religion.”
Several other people say Hubbard made similar statements to them. Following Scientology is certainly not cheap. To progress to the top level, study fees have been estimated at as much as $500,000. While it’s billed as a religious non-profit organisation, the Washington Post reported in 1994 that many US lawmakers considered it an unscrupulous commercial organisation. The German government considers it a commercial business.
But what is it? Scientology was originally a self-help philosophy, but Hubbard then began to add religious aspects. It aims to help humans achieve awareness of their spiritual existance, and ultimately regain ‘total freedom’. It’s made up of a series of levels – Hubbard believed rehabilitation takes place on a step by step basis. Believers follow the ‘Bridge to Total Freedom’, with each step allowing a little more freedom, and a little more knowledge about Scientology.
The basic beliefs are that people have an immortal soul, which will be reincarnated after the body dies, and it’s possible to retain emotional problems from previous lives. The other main belief is that psychiatry and psychology are abusive, which we’ll come to in a moment. The main practice of Scientology is known as auditing. Each new believer sits down with a trained ‘auditor’ and is asked questions about their life while a machine measures electrical impulses. The idea is that this helps a person unburden themselves of past mistakes and traumas. Scientologists have claimed benefits from auditing including improved IQ, enhanced memory and alleviated dyslexia and attention deficit problems.

Get this:

According to Hubbard, an alien called Xenu ruled a Galactic Confederacy 75 million years ago. Faced with overcrowding on the 76 planets he ruled, and a plot to overthrow him, the evil Xenu used psychiatrists to drug billions of people and load them onto transports, which explains Scientology’s dislike of psychology. The people were taken to earth, stacked around volcanoes and blown up with hydrogen bombs.
The souls of these people were then rounded up and forced to watch a kind of propaganda video for more than a month. Given that the souls are reincarnated, many psychological problems today apparently result from this misleading information. The media, including 7DAYS, is routinely accused by Scientologists of being inaccurate, or even malicious, when it comes to the group.

Sure, and I'm really a pink alien lizard who came from the planet Lafoofoo.

The article's last paragraph was funny:

But taking what’s been written about Tom Cruise’s bizarre behaviour as an example, it’s all pretty much true. Katie Holmes gave birth in silence because Hubbard believed that words heard at birth could later trigger trauma in an adult. Cruise’s rant against psychiatry on the ‘Today Show’ also stems from Hubbard’s beliefs. Far from changing my mind, an afternoon researching Scientology has made me think it’s weirder than ever. Or is that Xenu’s brainwashing talking?

Apparently, Scientology's church claims that it is a non-profit organization. However, it's quite clear that they're rich. I researched more on Scientology after reading 7days' article. I read about one man whose best friend became a scientologist. After they took a lot of money from him, he decided to stop as he had doubts on the religion. They called at his office, got him fired. Spurred problems between him and his wife, who filed for divorce and many other things. They basically ruined his life. After it all, he just pulled the trigger and killed himself, the pressure was just too much for him to handle.

Check this link for more about Scientology from scientologists. Watch this interesting video on Scientology. As it turns out, Scientology has its own bible as well. See this page to learn about Scientology's bible. Most reviewers claim that Scientology basically takes common sense and presents it in what appears to be a scientific style. I want to purchase the book, it looks like it'd make an interesting read.

Muslim Converts

Watching how Muslim converts act towards Islam makes people like me, who were born into Islam, feel ashamed. Why don't we, who were born into the right religion, practice it well? There's a large difference between being a Muslim and a practicing Muslim. In one of the videos which I'll link to in a moment, one of the Muslim converts says that the Muslims that he was surrounded by weren't practicing ones and that they were really bad. They were shady characters; one of them got arrested and the another one of them is waiting for trail. He says that there was a turning point in his life which led him to look for a faith to follow, for he followed none. He never even thought of Islam for the characters that used to surround him. He looked into all sorts of faiths but as soon as he found an error, he left it. He felt that if it were the true faith and if it came from God, then it wouldn't contain any error; how can the Almighty err? One day, he went to listen to a mosque with his purple-haired girlfriend. He used to cause many problems there, until one day, he sat and listened to one of the Islamic lectures. He was bewildered by the faith, and started to ask many questions. After that session, he told his girlfriend that they were over for he can't sin if he wanted to be a practicing Muslim. Can you believe it? After one session only, subhan-Allah.
Another video that I'll share in a moment is about the youngest Muslim converts in the world. Two British sisters aged 9 and 12 convert to Islam. Their mom was shocked, but since she believed in freedom of choice she didn't stop them; she did, however, make it difficult for them. At first didn't allow them to practice Islam in their house or pray for she thought it was too much, she ordered them to do it in the mosque only. She forbade them to go to mosque at one point, until after speaking to the Imam who convinced her to let them go ahead. Unlike other children, the girls spend their evenings reading books and memorizing Quran as well as praying in their rooms.

Isn't it outstanding to see how Muslim converts act towards Islam compared to those born into the faith? I guess that they probably work harder due to the newness of the faith.

Here's the link to Ali's Video Blog, episode 10, where he shares his story on how he converted to Islam. Episodes 3 and 4 are interesting. Watch the whole season, I loved it.
Here's the link to the young British Girls' journey through Islam.
This video, copying Ali's style, is an interesting watch. This video is an interesting watch as well.

Enjoy! =)

I Miss You...

2006-08-17T01:07:00.000+04:00

...and you, you and you

Have you ever been surrounded with people and felt like you couldn't be any more lonely?

I've been emotional over the last few days. I'm better during the daytime, I guess it's cause I'm distracted. At night, though, I find it difficult to sleep, even when I'm feeling so tired. Dots once told me it's called, "Too tired to sleep". I keep rolling around, not being able to close my eyes for more than a few minutes before feeling my heart ache.
It might be a normal feeling that accompanies almost everyone who travels and makes one feel that way close to coming back home; or I just might be too emotional.

Regardless, the time spent in Saudi Arabia was good. Al Madinah had a really comforting feeling, I miss it. I'm blogging from Makkah right now. The Saudi government needs a lot of improving. Dots asked me to blog about the things I would change if I was able to; I probably will when I'm back.
For the meantime, I'll just type as I think...
Praying with the Kaa'ba in your sight, knowing that God is right there, watching you pray for Him, being in front of His house, in His devine presence... There's just so much depth in those soulful moments. It's beautiful.. I can't describe the feeling you get. It's heavenly, holy, almighty, blissful, celestial, sacred, spiritual... Above all, it's unearthly.

Why take drugs when you can get a high from performing a religious deed?
No matter where you are on earth, you're able to get the feeling. Close your eyes, concentrate, acknowledge His presence, know that your soul travels up to Him when you pray...
I hope that I can achieve that high when I'm back...

Keep praying =)

Seraph

2006-07-25T15:20:00.000+04:00

Many people wonder what Seraph means, and why I'm using this name.

Seraph is another word for "angel". A Seraph is one of the highest angels, if not the highest.

A few days back, I was bored out of my mind, and started googling "Seraph" when I stumbled upon the meaning in Wikipedia. To my shock, and to my amusement as well, I found a very interesting meaning...

A seraph (Hebrew שׂרף, plural שׂרפים Seraphim) is one of a class of celestial beings mentioned once in the Old Testament (Tanakh), in Isaiah. Later Jewish imagery perceived them as having human form, and in that way they passed into the ranks of Christian angels.
Source

So basically, a Seraph is the Jewish equivelant of a Christian angel. How nice...

Did that bit of information shock you? It sure surprised me.

---

Watch this interesting video which compares the U.S coverage of the Middle East Crisis with the Middle Eastern coverage and how the U.S coverage reinforced false perceptions of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. It also exposes how the U.S's foreign policy interests of American political elites work in combination with Israeli Public Relations.

Visited Countries

2006-07-25T12:51:00.000+04:00

This is cool. I've visited 14 countries, which is 6% of the entire world. I guess that I need to visit more places I haven't been to.

To make your own visited countries map, click here.

Comedy vs. Tragedy

2006-07-17T19:45:00.000+04:00

Comedies and tragedies share many of the same social ends, but the tone of the two kinds of works is very distinct.

Certain parallels can be drawn between William Shakespeare's plays, "A Midsummer Night's Dream", and "Romeo and Juliet". These parallels concern themes and prototypical Shakespearian character types. Both plays have a distinct pair of ‘lovers', Hermia and Lysander, and Romeo and Juliet, respectively. Both plays could have also easily been tragedy or comedy with a few simple changes. A tragic play is a play in which one or more characters is has a moral flaw that leads to his/her downfall. A comedic play has at least one humorous character, and a successful or happy ending. Comparing these two plays is useful to find how Shakespeare uses similar character types in a variety of plays, and the versatility of the themes which he uses.
Prohibited love, romance, controlling families, both plays have it all. With a few simple modifications, "A Midsummer Night's Dream" could have been a tragedy, and "Romeo and Juliet" could have been a comedy. Shakespeare however, uses many of the same character types, young, prudent, rebellous lovers, and controling family members, in both comedies and tragedies. The end results are character molds, along with theme molds that can be easily translated into almost any plot, in any play.
Source

So why do people think that tragedies are stronger? If you were a movie director and had a story of a certain plot, would you adjust it to make it comedic or tragic? And why?

I've been told by most of the people I asked that they would, of course, make the movie a tragedy if they had wanted a certain message to reach their audience. This strikes me as strange. Don't they both tackle emotions on the same level? Why do certain movies do better when they're tragic? The finest example of that is Titanic.
Perhaps it has to do with the history of the topic. Aristotle, a Greek historian, gave rules to both comedy and tragedy.

Tragedy = Poetics
Comedy = Lost Treatise

Recent critics see a strong social pattern to tragedies.

While debating with someone over this topic I was asked to name one comedic movie which held a strong moral. A few movies came into mind, but it seems like most of the good stories are made tragic in order to be remembered. Why not make them comedies? Why not be happy and remember rather than sad? When you're laughing you feel light headed and don't think of what you're doing and quickly forget about it. When you're sad, though, you think deeply. Is this why the greatest thinkers were depressed? Does intellegence accompany sorrow?
I feel like I'm debating with myself here. I type as I think. I might be hanging on the fence here, but both comedies as well as tragedies hold extremely strong emotions. The fact that a tragedy is portrayed as the stronger emotion, though, cannot be denied. Perhaps a change is needed...

Grief

2006-07-13T22:28:00.000+04:00

My great grandmother passed away yesterday morning... الله يرحمها و يغمد روحها الجنة

Freud expressed a "death instinct" present in human beings. Is it possible for anyone not to be conscious of the concept?

The topic of death has always intrigued me, especially after reading a piece someone wrote online on the book, "Tuesdays with Morrie". Didn't you notice that dying old people become softer and sweeter as time passes? The closer you are to death, the softer you become. Most probably, it's due to the realization of your mortality. You know that you will die soon and you don't want anyone to hold any grudges against you.
Not knowing when we're going to die truly is a blessing. People wouldn't be so ambitious if they knew when they were going to die. If I knew that I only had a few hours left I wouldn't spend them on planning something; I'd spend them with loved ones and would pray.
Why do people gather when someone is born, and gather again when that person dies? Births and funerals serve to remind people of life; one is a happy occassion and the other is a sad one.

A friend told me yesterday that she had sat during a lecture on death. Apparently, the people who are already dead welcome the people they know who had just died into the after-life as one would welcome an honored guest. It made me think about who would be there to welcome my great grandmother; could it be my grandmother? Or maybe my great grandfather? I don't really know.
We also discussed another topic. Were you to die in a war, would you still feel the piercing bullets tear through your body even after your heart stopped beating? Does the soul feel what the body is going through after its death? Do those who get cremated after their death feel the burning flames lick their skin?

I once asked my 4th Grade tutor whether or not the Prophet (May Peace and Prayers Be Upon Him) cried when his wife died. She gave me a speculative look and replied, "Why should he cry when he knew that she was going to go to heaven? He should be happy for her." So I asked her whether or not he cried when his uncle died, to which she responded, "Why should he? His uncle is going to hell; why waste his tears on a sinner?"
That made me think: Why cry?

Only those who are extremely confident in what they spent their life are the ones who aren't afraid to let go and die, because they know that they'll be generously rewarded in the after-life.

My great grandmother was a soft spoken old lady. Her manners were those of your typical Arabian old lady; extremely polite and - expectedly - traditional. Her eyes had always intrigued me. They were green. She and a few of my cousins in KSA were the only ones in the family with such eyes. They were extremely powerful and, at times, frightening for their powerful glow. However, one soft smile from her would take all my fears away. The wrinkles running across her eyes when she smiled were magical; you couldn't help but smile back.
Most importantly, she had passed away in Mekkah - the holiest of places - and for that I am extremely thankful.

اللهم ارحم جميع موتى المسلمين

10 million for a number

2006-05-24T11:30:00.000+04:00

"At a charity event in the capital of Doha, a Qatari bidder paid $2.75 million for the mobile phone number 666-6666."

Click here for full article.

Prayer

2006-05-19T09:43:00.000+04:00

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

Parents

2006-05-09T22:08:00.000+04:00

Good advice on how to teach kids, especially if they're not doing so well academically...

Breaking the Chains:
"The difference between a good student and a bad one is that a bad student forgets the material 5 minutes before a test, a good student 5 minutes after."
- Unknown

Describe Love...?

2006-05-05T21:56:00.000+04:00

How can anyone talk about “love” without sounding too cheesy?
It strikes me as somewhat impossible
If I speak of it in a rather dull tone, I’d sound like a newspaper journalist
And if I spoke of it with my emotions I’d sound cheesy
What is love, though, if not emotions?
Should I speak of it biologically?
They’re chemicals that the brain produces to entice the nerves, send heat and warmth throughout the body and give the human being a good feeling
Or perhaps I should speak of it philosophically?
It’s the meeting of two souls that became separated in the physical universe. Perhaps the feelings that we experience when we are in love represent a normal state. Being in love shows one how one should be.
How would a dictionary define the term?
Something like, “A deep, tender feeling of affection towards a person. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is willing to make his or her partner; the emotion of sex and romance.”

I should speak of love the way that I see it.
Simply put, love is:
Him

Breaking the Chains:

"Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone - but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding."

Bette Davis

"Maybe someday, somehow, love will finally be able to conquer all... We can only hope."

Seraph

Planning

2006-05-02T08:23:00.000+04:00

I have too much work to do and too little time to accomplish it in. I was told that by time management I could accomplish anything, as long as I put my mind into it. The problem is that I don't know how to manage my time, I'm a spontaneous person who just works with time.I do love planning though, so much. Just a few days back we were taught about the different planning strategies in my introduction to business class. I remembered when I used to plan big and plan small for certain online projects, or as business professors would put it: "strategic and tactical planning".
It's funny how I hate making to-do lists and yet love to plan. To-do lists make me feel stressed, while plans make me feel organized, especially strategic ones. I was never a fan of the details. Maybe that's one of the reasons that make me such an endless procrastinator. People who think large rather than small have more difficulty in accomplishing their task (or so I like to think in order to fool myself so I don't feel so guilty when I procrastinate).

1%

2006-04-30T10:15:00.000+04:00

When the UAE gives only 1% of it's money to education, it's no wonder that public universities and colleges highly emphasize on English language development skills. Men and women alike are wasting precious years of their lives, all in order to be able to utter one comprehendable sentence in English, while they should be spending them studying in order to go out and work sooner. Because our public schools are not performing to international standards, children are not being prepared for higher education. About a third of the budget used for spending on higher education is being used on teaching students the skills that they should've already learnt at school.

I'd say that out of the one percent that the UAE is spending on education, three quarters of that one percent, or 0.75%, is being spent on higher education, while the smart thing to do would be to spend more money on schools rather than higher education. The UAE has many high school dropouts.

Is one percent really enough? Countries like Brazil and Pakistan spend around 3% on education. I think that the Ministry of Education should get more than a measly one percent (even if it did mean more than 5 billion dirhams in 2003)

p.s
I realize that this post has almost no sources to back up the claims, and I hate posting something without proof to back it up, but I think it's safe to say that I'm pretty sure of my claims...

Fall Off

2006-04-28T16:58:00.000+04:00

I have a demented sense of humor, I enjoy laughing at the expense of someone else's humiliation, but you do too. If you want to challenge me:

Watch this movie

p.s
I know I haven't been posting much, I've had quite of a rollercoaster ride lately. You'll - inshAllah - be seeing more of me

Warchalking

2006-04-17T09:37:00.000+04:00

Free and open Wi-Fi networks are out there. The art is in finding them, then chalking a mark on a street.

It's pretty common to find unsecure wireless networks if you're living in an apartment, thanks to the generous neighbors who haven't locked their wireless networks or made them secure. Anyone who's lucky enough to find them gets a piece of chalk and then marks sidewalks, walls or poles with symbols based on an old sign language. Anyone who understands these symbols then knows that there's an unsecure wireless network that can be used around that area. Laptops and notebooks are charged, then brought to that area for free internet access.

The history of Warchalking goes as follows:

In 2002, London-based IT consultant Matt "Blackbelt" Jones came up with an idea for Wi-Fi users to help each other get online. Jones proposed marking sidewalks, walls, or telephone poles where networks could be found with a set of chalk-mark symbols based on the old sign language that hobos used to alert one another to food, shelter, or potential trouble during the Great Depression in the 1930s.
Jones dubbed this practice "warchalking," a pun on "wardialing," introduced in the 1983 movie Wargames, in which a young hacker has his computer automatically dial all the phone numbers in the area looking for other computers. Geeks termed the practice "wardialing." Add that familiar erasable writing technology and you wind up with "warchalking." Here are the universally accepted trio of symbols for warchalking:

Apparently, the most common used symbol is the one to the left. It reminds me of the Chanel logo with the opposing brackets. The ones to the right mean or symbolize closed networks. That means that they're closed access and no one knows how to access them. The one with the W in the middle means that you need a WEP or WPA key.

You'll find a few marks here and there in the big cosmopolitan cities such as London or New York, but most of them were made by the business owners themselves in order to attract passers-by by offering free internet access.

It's funny how some people would go to extreme extents for the sake of free internet access. A friend of mine told me that her driver would drive to Beach Center where there's an internet place for kids, which has a lot of games in there. The place is filled with 10-year-olds who would get bored after using the computer for 10 minutes that they'd just leave it. He'd go there and wait for a kid to get bored so that he could sit after the kid who left the computer and use the internet for free for almost an hour.
That's smart, funny too.

I wonder what sort of new trend will come along after the wireless craze fades out.

For more information on chalking visit this link. Read the story that BBC did on warchalking here.

Breaking the Chains:

"The days of the digital watch are numbered."
Tom Stoppard

ماشي الحال

2006-04-13T14:40:00.000+04:00

ماشي الحال

ماشي الحال غصب عني بعد يمشي

ضيقة بال وأشيل الهم على رمشي

* * *

حقيقة صعبة أحوالي ولا لي بهالزمن غالي

انا تعبان من نفسي واللي حولي ما يبالي

* * *

مابه خط للرجعة تعبت وفاضت الدمعة

ألا يا من يشيل الهم ويترك للهنى ربعه

I need the person I miss.

I need to leave the place that I'm in, go somewhere else.

I need to finish up.

I need to move on.

I need to stop feeling the way that I'm feeling right now.

Most importantly, I need to know how to get everything that I need.

I need many things... But who's to say that I'll ever get them?

In the end, one thing makes me go on... Particularly this sentence that's been ringing in my ears the past few days, maybe because I felt that it spoke to me, "After every storm, there comes a rainbow."

Breaking the Chains:

"Happiness is a state of mind."

Seraph

"Take my advice, it's not like I ever use it!"

Seraph

Friends are like Chocolates...

2006-03-31T09:37:00.000+04:00

...They come in different kinds, sometimes sweet and sometimes bitter, but they all do the same job of filling us up and making us feel warm. They're all good sources of endorphin (the happy chemical).

We have different types of people around us to aid us in this journey that we call life. Family is there for love, colleagues are there for work, lovers are there for security and finally, friends, for support. Of course, lovers and friends can be like family, which means that they give love.

I've always wondered, is classifying friends possible? Categorizing them according to a set criteria in your brain? This criteria is purely yours, each person has his or her own criteria.

Let me share with you my criteria for friends.
Firstly, I have the best friends. They're a few, of course, and each one of them has something that the other lacks. One is good for listening and advice, she's the sound mind; one is such a sweetheart; another is good for just making me laugh and finally, save the best for last as she always says, the take with me everywhere kind of friend. The friend that would do all of the above, be able to mingle with all of the above and also know what I'd be thinking without me having to talk. It could get quite annoying, though, especially when I'd try and hide something from her because she would eventually find out, most probably because I told her willingly. You can say that she's like me in a more advanced and crazy brain, and a different body. It isn't out of the norm if one of us called the other just to say, "It's 11 o'clock and I just finished a full meal of Burger King!" and then hang up, no reason needs to be given.
Secondly, there are the very good friends. We'd care about each other, ask about each other, good listeners and there for support, but not quite graduated to best. Those are a few, too, but their numbers are larger than the best ones.
Finally, the normal friends come. We know each other and trust each other but never graduated to being very supportive to one another even though we wouldn't mind offering a helping hand, but we don't mind each other's company and are fine with talking gibberish and making jokes to one another. We care about each other nonetheless and would probably stand up for one another. It doesn't matter so much if we didn't talk for a long period of time, though.

I think that pretty much sums it up for me, or for my "friend" classification.

I think that we each have our own criteria's and the aforementioned is mine...

God bless them all.

Breaking the Chains:

"A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling."

Arthur Brisbane

قوة الدعاء

2006-03-30T12:25:00.000+04:00

الصلاة التفريجية

اللهم صلّ الصّلاة الكاملة، و سلّم السّلام التّام على محمّد، النّبي الّذي تنحلّ به العقد، و تنفرج به الكرب، و تقضى به الحوائج، و تنال به الرغائب، و حسن الخواتيم، و يستسقى الغمام بوجهه الكريم، و على آله و صحبه في كل لمحة و نفس، عدد كلّ معلوم لك

يا الله! يا حي! يا قيوم

الصلاة المنجية

اللهم صلّ على سيّدنا محمّد، و على آل سيّدنا محمّد صلاة تنجينا بها من جميع الأهوال، و الآفات

و تقضي لنا بها جميع الحاجات

و تطهرنا بها من جميع السيئات

و ترفعنا بها عندك أعلى الدرجات

و تبلغنا بها أقصى الغايات

من جميع الخيرات في الحياة و بعد الممات

He and She

2006-03-20T18:55:00.000+04:00

Interesting articles:

He said...
She said...

Trying to Mend

2006-03-16T21:37:00.000+04:00

"There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won’t anymore, and who always will…"

The past few days have shook me. They shook me to the point that the pain was so deep my body had to numb it for me. I think that because my body knew that if it let the pain bite at me it would be too much, it started to go upside down.
Have you ever been through something that hurt you so much that instead of crying you'd start laughing uncontrollably? That's how I was and probably still am. I think I'm starting to be sane again, I'm just waiting to break down so that I can finally start to move on.

Shock does this, doesn't it? When you get shocked by something that someone does to you, someone you'd have never expected this of...

My days are tiring, my weaknesses have come undone. I managed to knot them, thanks to someone who stood by my side, but now that they've left me in such a strange way, my old wounds are starting to freshen. It's funny how I can remain quiet for quite a while and would suddenly laugh for no reason. I thought that laughing was supposed to make you happy, why do I manage to end up with a headache after laughing? Sometimes I'd be listening to someone recounting a story that is anything but funny yet I'd have to bite my lip so hard to stop laughs from escaping my lips. The headaches make it hard for me to focus. Catching me daydream these days is very normal, I can't get the source of the headache out of my mind... The pain of the headache is also making concentrating on anything else almost impossible.

Yet I try.. and I try.

They say that time is the best healer. Is it a healer, though? I think that time just numbs the pain, it doesn't heal it at all. We become stronger because we start to forget, but if something triggers our memory and we start to remember a bad memory then all the pain that we experienced in the past will come back, all new. We never healed, we just forgot.. Being forgetful truly is a blessing...
For example, five years after the death of a loved one I wouldn't cry as often as I did one month after their death because with time I'd forget. But, if something reminded me of the person that passed away, I'd go back to what I used to do. Did time heal me? No, it didn't, or else I would've been fine. It just numbed the pain for me with the help of my receding memory.

There's just one thing that I would love to know...
Why, after knotting and stitching the wounds tightly for me, have they loosened them now?

What on earth have I done to deserve this...

Would I benefit from knowing why? Should I forget about my curiousity? Will getting an answer make this easier on me?

In the end, though, hearing one thoughtful kind word always helps to bring me one step closer to carrying a real smile.

Breaking the Chains:

"A torn jacket is soon mended; but hard words bruise the heart of a child."

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Tagged!

2006-03-09T02:18:00.000+04:00

Because MD tagged me, I have to fill this list.

1. Four jobs I've had:

- Daughter (not so much these days)
- Babysitter (look at the above)
- Work Placement last year
- Student

2. Four movies I could watch over and over:

- Where the Heart Is
- Shrek 2
- Superstar
- Girl, Interrupted
- Gangs of New York

3. Four places I've lived in:

Only Dubai

4. Four TV shows I like:

- Friends
- Desperate Housewives
- Lost
- The O.C.

5. Four places I've been to on holiday:

- Europe: Switzerland, London and another place I forgot
- Asia: Thailand, Malaysia and Singapore
- Australia
- Saudi Arabia (yes, once went on holiday, to visit my family there)

6. Four favorite dishes:

- Noodles
- Meshwi (Arabic dish)
- Sandwiches
- Pizza Hut chicken wings, fisherman's thingy (it's a sandwich with prawns) and potato wedges

7. Four sites I visit frequently:

- Blogs
- Gmail
- Hotmail
- Google or Yahoo!

8. Four books I've read:

- The Present by Spencer Johnson
- Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom
- It's not how good you are, it's how good you want to be by Paul Arden
- Redemption Song by Beatrice Berry

9. Bloggers I want to tag:

- They're all already tagged!

Breaking the Chains:

"Friends applaud(...)"

Ludwig von Beethoven

Flash!

2006-03-05T22:45:00.000+04:00

What's a flashback?

Flashbacks are memories of past traumas. They may take the form of pictures, sounds, smells, body sensations, feelings or the lack of them (numbness). Many times there is no actual visual or auditory memory. One may have the sense of panic, being trapped, feeling powerless with no memory stimulating it. These experiences can also happen in dreams.

Terrifying, unbearable, scary, uncontrollable, confusing....these and many more words are what a survivor uses to describe how a flashback feels.

Not knowing why a flashback happens makes dealing with them confusing for survivors.
Emotionally loaded, flashbacks bring back feelings from the original attack. Thoughts, actions and emotions that a survivor kept repressed during their attack may be to blame for some of these vivid memories.

The very fact that flashbacks seem to be uncontrollable and unpredictable, makes stopping flashback memories seemingly just another pain to bear.

When we begin to understand why we have flashbacks and are not paralyzed by them, we can move further along the path to healing. Flashbacks are a natural process of healing and they are safe. Your mind is now telling you that it is no longer necessary to block such memories.

So how can we deal with these flashbacks?

1. Three Options

When dealing with a flashback there are actually three possible options. At the first sign of an oncoming flashback, you need to quickly determine which option you are choosing.The techniques used for each of these options are the same, but how you combine them and the intensity which you will use them will vary to bring about each of the three. This is not to say that you will be able to control your flashbacks all the time, sometimes it will be stronger than you. If what triggered your flashback was strong enough, then you might not be able to control or escape it. During such times, get yourself to the safest place possible and keep using techniques to manage the acceptance of the flashback.

Option One: Accept

The first option is to accept the flashback at full intensity. It looks like a ridiculous choice at first glance, but one of the reasons that you have flashbacks in the first place is to help your mind process the information contained in the flashback. There are times when this is going to be the best option because the information is going to come out anyway. So when the time and place are right, prepare yourself and try to control the flashback only enough to keep yourself safe. How do you know when the time and place are right? Well, there are several factors that may help indicate when it is safe enough to Accept a flashback at full force. The first of these is a safe environment, by safe I mean comfortable and comforting. This may be your bedroom, living room, or even your therapist's office. The second is the existence of a support person, or someone you can talk to afterwards if you need to. This could be a significant other, close friend or therapist.
Limiting the times a flashback is accepted at full force can significantly improve how deal the more devastating memories are dealt with.

Option Two: Control

The second option is to Control the flashback, or rather to make an attempt to diminish the effects of the flashback. In order to Control the flashback, you need to increase the effort you put into the coping techniques you have (or those listed at the bottom of this article). I find it useful to also continue to remind myself that I am safe and that I cannot be hurt. Controlling and Escaping flashbacks work by interrupting the thought processes involved in the flashback. Since flashbacks are basically electrical impulses within the brain, I look at this as short-circuiting the flashback process. When you have a song you don't particularly like stuck in your head, the only way to get rid of it is to hear a song you like and replace the thought that is keeping that song in your head. Short-circuiting a flashback is the same thing you are attempting to replace one thought process with another. Controlling is not the full replacement of a flashback but a redirection of the flashback onto a different and safer circuit. To do this, you will be using your coping tools to interrupt the thought process. You may need to interrupt the flashback several times to Control the impact, and it may take several efforts to cause a single interruption. Mixing your coping methods around and using them in combination are ways of intensifying the attempt at interruption. If your environment is familiar and you can feel safe, or if you are with someone who can give you a measure of safety, then Controlling the flashback may be the best option.

Option Three: Escape

The final option is the Escape of the flashback. Again, remember that this may not always be possible, but never give up your attempts. Mix up your coping methods and combine them, try the more intense methods and try new methods. Escape is both tiring and difficult, but it can be done.

2. Take Notes

- What triggered the flashback?
- What was your goal? (Accept, Control or Escape)
- Did you accomplish your goal?
- What coping techniques did you use?
- Which of these techniques helped, which didn't?

Having these notes can help create a better plan for flashback management.

3. Coping Techniques

Nearly anything you can do to help cope with your flashbacks is a good thing. I say nearly everything because anything that does harm to yourself or another person is simply inexcusable in my opinion. I feel I have a right to say this because like many out there with PTSD, I resorted to self-injury in an attempt to deal with some of the memory I recovered. Not only was self-injury ineffective, it put me in a very dangerous position.
Resorting to causing yourself pain to cover other pain simply amplifies your agony. You may temporarily feel what you believe to be relief but once things return to normal and the flashback is gone, there is additional pain to deal with and at times, serious injury as well. I view seeking affection from others and Alcohol and Drugs the same way (with the exception of drugs prescribed by my own doctor or therapist). They may not do visible harm like cutting yourself, but the damage is done and the problems are compounded.

Techniques When You Are Alone:

Memory Games
(Good for visual flashbacks)

One of the easiest ways to cope or manage a flashback is by distraction. Try to remember something challenging such as the lyrics to a particular song, or a favorite poem. This can helpinterrupt the flashback by redirecting the activity in your brain.
For some reason, memory games work well when I am having flashbacks that involved my hearing and balance.

Some of the more effective memory games I have used are:

- Humming songs or remembering the lyrics to songs
- Naming facts I learned in school

Ice Cube
(Good for physical flashbacks - like feelings of touch or sensations)

This has been my most important tool in dealing with physically oriented flashbacks. The technique was actually taught to me by a Viet Nam Veteran who said he used it for every single flashback, adding "usually it helps, but sometimes it can't." I have found it to be effective to some degree almost every time I have tried it.
The idea is simple, take a fairly large ice cube and hold it tight in one of your hands throughout the flashback. The cold feeling keeps that part of you grounded to some degree and the physical sensation gives you something solid to focus on besides the memory you are reliving. It is important to hold the ice cube fairly tight and in the same hand for the duration of the flashback. I experimented with switching hands and holding it lightly and the technique lost much of its effectiveness.

I always use this technique in addition to some of the others when attempting to Escape or Control.

Wall Spotting
(Good for auditory, or hearing, flashbacks)

This technique involves selecting 4 or 5 brightly colored items in the room that are easily within vision and moving your focus between them. Make sure to vary the order and allow yourself to lock onto the items briefly before shifting to the next item. Keep this up throughout the flashback and continue for a short time afterwards.

Following the same pattern can actually cause you to become more involved in the flashback because your mind becomes used to the pattern and builds on it. By varying the pattern, you disrupt the thought processes involved in the flashback.

I suggest continuing the eye movements for a while after the flashback ends to allow yourself to get more focused on the present since I use this technique mostly for flashbacks with a visual element.

Cold Water on Your Face
(Good for any type of flashback)

This one is simple and can help with any type of flashback. This idea is one of the first ones any of us find that helps. Remember that it can continue to help. Try and use water cold enough to give yourself a good shock. There is a bit more evidence on why this works, it is called the "Mammalian Diving Reflex" or simply the "Diving Reflex" and relies on the fact that our bodies want to survive.

Sudden immersion in very cold water (below 70 degrees) triggers the Diving Reflex. The body reacts by lowering the heart rate, increasing blood pressure, and shutting down circulation to all but the body's core. The result is a lowered metabolism that conserves energy, which helps cold water survival. This is also why near-drowning victims in cold water have a much higher survival rate.

The effect on a flashback is fairly drastic. In short, the brain is shocked and interrupts the flashback to survive what may be a life-threatening immersion in freezing water. For this reason, make sure you use the coldest water available and use a good amount of it.

Techniques When a Friend is Available:

Counting
(Good for intense and strong flashbacks)

This is a technique I came up with while assisting a friend with a panic attack. I call this Counting for lack of a better term. The idea, like most of the techniques above, is to confuse the mind and disrupt the thought processes. To do this, remember that random is good.

Basically, your friend would make you repeat whatever they are saying and would start by following a predictable pattern. Throwing in random words breaks the pattern up and causes a brief disruption in the flashback. This can be very powerful against the more intense flashbacks and I tend to use it only when I am in great need.

The sample below is meant to illustrate both why I call it counting and how it can work.

One
Two
Three
Eight
Five
Six
Seven
Green
Forty-seven
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Cow

I am unsure why this has been effective, but I do know it will not work alone. If you are selecting the order, than the order is not random, there are no surprises. The surprises catch us off guard and our reaction of "One, Two, Three, Eight?" is often enough to lessen the impact of fairly intense flashbacks.

Fizz-Buzz Counting
(Good for intense and strong flashbacks)

I use an "advanced counting" technique to recapture my focus... it is derived from an old group game we used to play - we called it "Fizz - Buzz". Instead of simply counting sequentially, any time a number contains the digit 7 or is a multiple of 7, the word "Buzz" is used; when a number contains the digit 5 or a multiple of 5, the word "Fizz" is used. This is pretty easy up into the early 100s... when much more focus and concentration are required!

Example:

One
Two
Three
Four
Fizz
Six
Buzz
Eight
Nine
Fizz
Eleven...

It can be done without a friend. If you mess up, you're supposed to compliment yourself! Pick any compliment, but pick a compliment. Then start again.

***

For more tips please visit:
Flashbacks
Coping with Flashbacks: Goals and Techniques for Handling the Memories
Hints on How to Cope With Flashbacks
Flashbacks: A Natural Process of Healing
Tips for Recovery

I have such flashbacks from time to time because of a past event that shook me. I found the aforementioned to be beneficial, I haven't tried them yet but I think that I will when and if I pass through something that requires the use of these techniques.
I hope that this doesn't happen to anyone and, if it does, I hope that these techniques aid you.

Breaking the Chains:

"Thought is only a flash between two long nights, but this flash is everything."

Henri Poincare

Parasite of Love

2006-03-05T10:05:00.000+04:00

It's a parasite that lacks the gift of speech but sucks on your feelings like a leech.
Try not to fight it, it's hungry and it will drink your emotions in one sip. It force feeds you the love disease noisily and gives you sleepless nights.

The parasite strikes when we least expect it to. If we could control our feelings then we'd feel things that we don't really want to but it's impossible to do that. Love, especially, is the feeling that cannot be controlled at all.

The feeling is beautiful in all of the pain that accompanies the package of course - when both sides want it to happen. But what if they don't want it to happen? Maybe one of the sides doesn't want it or both don't.

When you fall in love because of this insect that is feeding you the "love disease feelings", you have sleepless nights thinking of that person; your eating habits change; you don't fall into the same mundane routine that you've accustomed yourself to daily, your days suddenly seem cheerier and your eye has the cutest glitter that gives your feelings away.
Sounds familiar? If it does, then I'm afraid that the parasite infected you too.

Is there some kind of spray to kill this parasite? Why kill it? Enjoy it if you can, if you have to kill it though then just have faith in Him and then in yourself.
This brings me to:

Factors of Love

Both Sides Want to Love

This factor is lovely, it keeps the feelings in the air and grows with time. The parasite keeps feeding and feeding them at the same time. It might bite instead of feed somewhere as it goes, but that just comes with the package. Love is, after all, a parasite. I never heard of a perfect parasite that didn't accidentally bite instead of feed. It's just normal.

One Side Loves, the Other Side is Oblivious or Is Pushing It Away

This is one of the painful factors. It's what is called a crush for it's not really love if both sides aren't sharing the same feelings. What's a crush? It's a crush when you love someone and they don't love you back, they wouldn't have called it "crush" if it didn't hurt. It could eventually progress to love from both sides or just fade away. Cards need to be dealt right here depending on what needs to be done.

Both Sides Are Trying to Push It Away

This is probably the most painful. It's like a crush but more major because both sides are experiencing the feeling of loving someone but knowing that they can't have them and they both know that they feel the same way about each other which is what makes it even more painful to bear. Here, they can either progress into wanting the parasite to take them over, or in living in the pain for some time until they are numb to the parasite's constant biting. The parasite could get bored and fly away, or just stay there. They'll be able to adapt either way.

The three words themselves are magical and do wonders to the soul:
I Love You

I was told by someone once that when you fall in love for the first time and hear those words for the first time they don't feel as good as you expect them to be. Only when the words come after something happens that proves their care for each other that's when the words make the harp that lines your heart with its strings sing.

The pain that accompanies the last two factors can be dealt with in many ways, here are a few ideas that I thought of to let the parasite know where it should stick itself:

Anti-Love Spray

Go back to your faith. Believe in Him and then in yourself, be confident. Tell yourself that you can and will get over it.
Don't regret what was because then you can't look at what could be.
Remember that when you feel like you reached the worst that you can reach then that means that there's no way but up from there.
Always look for a friend to take it out on, it makes all the difference. Plus, your friend might have good advice to give so that's a bonus in addition to their listening to you.
God puts us in pain because He loves us and because of Him already having written everything for us, He wants to wash away our sins by letting us experience pain because He doesn't want us to experience that pain in the afterlife; He loves us.
Tell yourself to be patient, know that Allah is testing you and He doesn't lose anyone.
Know that there's no such thing as a random act and that everything happens for a reason.
Be sure that everything that happens to you is out of goodness.
Try to eliminate any external influences, anything that might trigger this feeling in you again.
Praying helps.

Love's a beautiful parasite that can get nasty at times. If it gets too nasty, or if the parasite is not wanted, anti-love spray can be used.

If you have any additional ingredients to add to the spray, leave them in the comment box. Or just comment with whatever you want, haha.

Breaking the Chains:

"It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
Samuel Butler

Fantasy: Bed of Roses

2006-02-17T11:45:00.000+04:00

I'm standing at the tip of a mountain; all I need is a soft push and I'll fall really hard into a big bed of roses, sweet and beautiful, like nothing I've ever experienced before. Trying to keep my balance on that tip is so exhausting, I keep tilting myself back and forth; knowing that the logical thing to do is to step back a bit, but why do I find it so difficult to? Why don't I want to? It's like I'm hanging on a thin thread and it could break at any moment.

The life which is unexamined is not worth living

I keep looking down, looking at the bed that awaits me, wishing for the thread to break, waiting for it to give me the chance to fall.

We come from the same planet, but it's like we're universes away. As if they're so alien...

There might be a few thorns here and there, but I know I'd reach for the closest sweet smelling rose to pick and smell, and that when I do, the scratch the thorn caused will seem insignificant, and will heal itself like all scratches do. If I do encounter a bed of roses filled with painful thorns and there was no going back to the sweet roses, I know that I'll remember them and won't regret the timeI spent there, for they could be the best experience of my life. Looking back with a smile could be wishful thinking, as everyone would think that I'd be too busy trying to mend the scratches, but maybe it's just what made it all worthwhile, and that's what would keep me smiling.

To be matter of fact about the world is to blunder into fantasy -- and dull fantasy at that, as the real world is strange and wonderful.

Could I be living this?

The poet is in command of his fantasy, while it is exactly the mark of the neurotic that he is possessed by his fantasy.

I think that I might be neurotic.

I understand the logic behind the thin thread that's holding me, but maybe being too logical could mean ceasing all. Following the heart and living experiences makes a life worthwhile.

A fantasy is a situation imagined by an individual or group, which does not correspond with reality but expresses certain desires or aims of its creator. Fantasies typically involve situations which are impossible or highly unlikely.

I think it might be a fantasy.
Let's hope I wake up from it soon, hanging on a thread is really exhausting. Rollercoaster rides can take us up and down, into an emotional hell.

(written on the 17th of November, 2005)

---

I was thinking of these roses a lot lately, and now that I read this old piece of mine I can't help but wonder, "Would I have been that ambitious in wanting to break that thread if I knew that I would end up here today?"

Breaking the Chains:

وُئد في مهده قبل أن أتهنى به
Seraph

I'll Never Say It

2006-02-14T19:40:00.000+04:00

I'm searching for the words inside my head
Feeling nervous
Pulling at my hair...
I can't say it!
I pull at my hair again tightly
I'm telling myself to keep calm
and I know that it's so obvious
But I act dumb about it
And so do you
I start to stare at my hands
Telling them to stop shaking
My teeth are biting into my lip
And my palms feel wet
My cheeks start feeling hot
And my mind's a constant swirl

If I could say what I wanted to say
Then I'd say that I...
Feel jealous to see you get affection from others
Feel angry when I am helpless
Feel depressed when the tiniest things happen
Pretend to be fine when I'm not
Feel resentment towards myself for not being perfect
because I experience these feelings
And I wish that I were perfect,
it would've been so much more easier
I wouldn't have to regret the time I didn't spend with you
or the things that I never got the chance to say
I wouldn't have to resent myself anymore
Nor will I have to wish that I could turn back time
and have another chance to play my cards right
And I wouldn't have to want to erase all the bad parts

I'd say that I cared about you
And that I only feel these things because I can't help them
I'd say that I wished if I could one day control my feelings
And spare all the bad ones, and keep all the good

If only I could say
The things that I'll never say

I’d say what about you
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to say
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I’m wishing my life away
With these things
I’ll never say

It don’t do me any good
It’s just a waste of time
What use is it to you
What’s on my mind
If it ain’t coming out
We’re not going anywhere
So why can’t I just tell you that I care

- Lyrics from Avril Lavigne's song, "Things I'll Never Say"

Note:
Dots and MD, I know that I took such a long time for this update. I had a severe case of blogger's block if you will. I dedicate this update to the two of you (not the words, just the update haha)

Breaking the Chains:

"Never say never, for if you live long enough, chances are you will not be able to abide by its restrictions. Never is a long, undependable time, and life is too full of rich possibilities to have restrictions placed upon it."
Gloria Swanson

Cocoon

2006-01-26T21:04:00.000+04:00

As per Dots request for me to post this piece of mine:

Cocoon

When looking at a cocoon, you see a hard shell with a small opening at the top of it. A wild catterpillar is transforming into a beautiful butterfly inside that cocoon. The tranformation process is the most tedious and crucial process; it is also the most beautiful. Thousands of webs interwine in that delicate process. It takes time and effort.
Now I can get a small knife and open up the crack in the cocoon a bit to help the beautiful creature break through. But if I do, then I am depriving it from the strength that it gains by that struggle to try and break it open, and I therefore make it weak and take away the strength that it needs to survive in the wild. By helping it, it will always stay dependent on others, but if I leave it to work by itself, then it will be independent and a strong survivor. The time it takes in struggling is what advances it from a mere catterpillar to a beautiful butterfly.
Perhaps the only thing an outside factor can help in is by giving the catterpillar this realization of how this journey is an important part of its development. That, with words of support and encouragement to make it less painful.
I hope that I can fulfill that for my dear ones, for they're such beautiful butterflies, with the most colorful wings that just need a bit of restringing. They will eventually have stronger wings, and the ability to soar high with them. When worst comes to worst, there's no way but up from there, and their limit is as high as their wings will take them.
I look at their cocoon and it pains me to see them in such a struggle that it takes a large effort on my part not to get out my knife and help crack them open. But I then take a closer look, and can almost see the interwoven threads sewing them up. I take a step back, smile, and keep praying to God that this process doesn't cause them any pain.
In life, nothing comes easily, they need to exert effort. They also need to let things take their way. I have high faith in them, for they are the ones who taught me what patience and strength is all about.

---

A cocoon can be a peaceful haven, it's so cold and cozy in there with all the surrounding threads warming you that you feel like you never want to leave the soft silky lines that tickle you as they keep sowing. But one day, the threads will become so thick that if you don't do something to break the cocoon then the threads are what will break them for you. Better you break them than the threads, butterflies need every ounce of strength that they can get before daring to emerge in to the wild again.
Until then, take your time in your cocoon, don't leave it until you're ready and you'll be a strong survivor. The wild won't disappear, it's giving you the time needed and is waiting for you.

Breaking the Chains:

"A catterpillar that wanted to know itself well would never become a butterfly."
Andre Gide

"A chinese philosopher once had a dream that he was a butterfly. From that day on, he was never quite certain that he was not a butterfly, dreaming that he was a man."
Unknown

Concentrate...

2006-01-23T13:53:00.000+04:00

...on controlling your thoughts, try and take them as they come and don't give them the chance to pounce when you least expect it.

You'll very well regret on letting that happen. Headaches that result in an exhausted and drained body are things that you will avoid if you find the ability to concentrate.

The worst times do grant me the knowledge of reliability though; and in the end, one smile makes me smile back.

Breaking the Chains:

"If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down but the staying down."

Mary Pickford

"I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances."

Martha Washington

"Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life."

Joan Lunden

"Sometimes the measure of friendship isn't your ability to not harm but your capacity to forgive the things done to you and ask forgiveness for your own mistakes."

Randy K. Millholland

Better, Healthier and More Peaceful Brains

2006-01-13T19:57:00.000+04:00

It seems as though the human brain can improve in a number of ways. I've found a few articles regarding the subject that are quite interesting.

For example, increasing your brain power doesn't mean having to study or force yourself to concentrate. There are many other tips and tricks to do it.

One:

Does getting old have to mean worsening memory, slower reactions and fuzzy thinking?

AROUND the age of 40, honest folks may already admit to noticing changes in their mental abilities. This is the beginning of a gradual decline that in all too many of us will culminate in full-blown dementia. If it were possible somehow to reverse it, slow it or mask it, wouldn't you?
A few drugs that might do the job, known as "cognitive enhancement", are already on the market, and a few dozen others are on the way. Perhaps the best-known is modafinil. Licensed to treat narcolepsy, the condition that causes people to suddenly fall asleep, it has notable effects in healthy people too. Modafinil can keep a person awake and alert for 90 hours straight, with none of the jitteriness and bad concentration that amphetamines or even coffee seem to produce.
In fact, with the help of modafinil, sleep-deprived people can perform even better than their well-rested, unmedicated selves. The forfeited rest doesn't even need to be made good. Military research is finding that people can stay awake for 40 hours, sleep the normal 8 hours, and then pull a few more all-nighters with no ill effects. It's an open secret that many, perhaps most, prescriptions for modafinil are written not for people who suffer from narcolepsy, but for those who simply want to stay awake. Similarly, many people are using Ritalin not because they suffer from attention deficit or any other disorder, but because they want superior concentration during exams or heavy-duty negotiations.
The pharmaceutical pipeline is clogged with promising compounds - drugs that act on the nicotinic receptors that smokers have long exploited, drugs that work on the cannabinoid system to block pot-smoking-type effects. Some drugs have also been specially designed to augment memory. Many of these look genuinely plausible: they seem to work, and without any major side effects.
So why aren't we all on cognitive enhancers already? "We need to be careful what we wish for," says Daniele Piomelli at the University of California at Irvine. He is studying the body's cannabinoid system with a view to making memories less emotionally charged in people suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. Tinkering with memory may have unwanted effects, he warns. "Ultimately we may end up remembering things we don't want to."

Two:

First, go to the top of the class by eating breakfast. The brain is best fuelled by a steady supply of glucose, and many studies have shown that skipping breakfast reduces people's performance at school and at work.

A smart choice for lunch is omelette and salad. Eggs are rich in choline, which your body uses to produce the neurotransmitter acetylcholine.

Round off lunch with a yogurt dessert, and you should be alert and ready to face the stresses of the afternoon.

Don't forget to snaffle a snack mid-afternoon, to maintain your glucose levels. Just make sure you avoid junk food, and especially highly processed goodies such as cakes, pastries and biscuits, which contain trans-fatty acids. These not only pile on the pounds, but are implicated in a slew of serious mental disorders, from dyslexia and ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) to autism.

Finally, you could do worse than finish off your evening meal with strawberries and blueberries. Rats fed on these fruits have shown improved coordination, concentration and short-term memory. And even if they don't work such wonders in people, they still taste fantastic. So what have you got to lose?

Three:

A DECADE ago Frances Rauscher, a psychologist now at the University of Wisconsin at Oshkosh, and her colleagues made waves with the discovery that listening to Mozart improved people's mathematical and spatial reasoning. Even rats ran mazes faster and more accurately after hearing Mozart than after white noise or music by the minimalist composer Philip Glass. Last year, Rauscher reported that, for rats at least, a Mozart piano sonata seems to stimulate activity in three genes involved in nerve-cell signalling in the brain.

Four:

Actors use a related technique: they attach emotional meaning to what they say. We always remember highly emotional moments better than less emotionally loaded ones. Professional actors also seem to link words with movement, remembering action-accompanied lines significantly better than those delivered while static, even months after a show has closed.

Helga Noice, a psychologist from Elmhurst College in Illinois, and Tony Noice, an actor, who together discovered this effect, found that non-thesps can benefit by adopting a similar technique. Students who paired their words with previously learned actions could reproduce 38 per cent of them after just 5 minutes, whereas rote learners only managed 14 per cent.

Five:

Simply walking sedately for half an hour three times a week can improve abilities such as learning, concentration and abstract reasoning by 15 per cent. The effects are particularly noticeable in older people. Senior citizens who walk regularly perform better on memory tests than their sedentary peers. What's more, over several years their scores on a variety of cognitive tests show far less decline than those of non-walkers. Every extra mile a week has measurable benefits.
It's not only oldies who benefit, however. Angela Balding from the University of Exeter, UK, has found that schoolchildren who exercise three or four times a week get higher than average exam grades at age 10 or 11. The effect is strongest in boys, and while Balding admits that the link may not be causal, she suggests that aerobic exercise may boost mental powers by getting extra oxygen to your energy-guzzling brain.
There's another reason why your brain loves physical exercise: it promotes the growth of new brain cells. Until recently, received wisdom had it that we are born with a full complement of neurons and produce no new ones during our lifetime. Fred Gage from the Salk Institute in La Jolla, California, busted that myth in 2000 when he showed that even adults can grow new brain cells. He also found that exercise is one of the best ways to achieve this.

I think those drugs are, most probably, banned in the UAE.

Want to relieve stress and have a sounder and clearer mind?

Follow these simple steps:

- Sit upright in a comfortable chair, keeping your spine as straight as comfortable.
- Position your feet flat on the floor or ground.
- Allow your eyes to gaze comfortably downward.
- Soften your focus and do not "look" at anything.
- Keep your eyes open, but allow your eyelids to "droop" as far down as comfortable.
- Continue to gaze downward, focusing on nothing in particular.
- Gently notice that your breathing has become very regular and comfortable.
- Don't resist if your attention begins to drift. Just allow yourself to soften your focus and remain calm.
- If your eyes want to close, let them do so.
- Maintain your meditation for as long as you wish.
- End with two or three nice slow, deep breaths.

Repeat as many times as you wish for rapid stress reduction.

These sites are excellent, I quoted the above pieces from them:

New Scientist 11 Steps to a Better Brain (this is my favorite link, I highly reccomend that you read it)
Stress Reduction Elimination (second favorite)
Concentration Game
How to increase your brain power
Increase Your Brain Power

Breaking the Chains:

"Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think."

Ambrose Bierce

My Life's Like a Dream

2006-01-13T18:20:00.000+04:00

You know when you have the strangest dreams, and they sometimes are one of the funniest dreams you have ever had? You might see your university building name label which used to have a letter on it change to have one of your friend's names' on it. You might dream that you saw someone you missed so much in one of the most awkward situations imaginable. You might also dream that you are watching yourself sleeping...

With dreams, you have those funny situations that sometimes happen for no reason. Maybe your body wanted to laugh, so your subconscious gave it that laugh. Sometimes, though, things haunt you in your dreams. You get nightmares that wake you up in the middle of the night in such a deep sweat that you'd rather spend the rest of the night awake than go back to sleep and risk having that nightmare again. Your nerves simply can't take it.

Of course, there are the peaceful dreams too, where you'd be running through pastoral fields without a care in the world. Or, perhaps, hovering over clouds. Touching the soft cotton candy, and feeling the sun's rays play with your skin.

Now the subconscious is a very powerful tool. This is demonstrated in the following chosen excerpts derived from the book blink by Malcolm Gladwell:

In September of 1983, an art dealer by the name of Gianfranco Becchina approached the J. Paul Getty Museum in California. He had in his possession, he said, a marble statue dating from the sixth century BC. It was what is known as a kouros - a sculpture of a nude male youth standing with his left leg forward and his arms at his sides. There are only about two hundred kouroi in existence, and most have been recovered badly damaged or in fragments from grave sites or archeological digs. But this one was almost perfectly preserved. It stood close to seven feet tall. It had a kind of light-colored glow that set it apart from other ancient works. It was an extraordinary find. Becchina's asking price was just under $10 million.The Getty moved cautiously. It took the kouros on loan and began a thorough investigation.
...
Where and when had the statue been found? No one knew precisely, but Becchina gave the Getty's legal department a sheaf of documents relating to its more recent history.
...
Fourteen months after their investigation of the kouros began, they agreed to buy the statue. In the fall of 1986, it went on display for the first time.
...
The kouros, however, had a problem. It didn't look right. The first to point this out was an Italian art historian named Federico Zeri, who served on the Getty's board of trustees. When Zeri was taken down to the museum's restoration studio to see the kouros in December of 1983, he found himself staring at the sculpture's fingernails. In a way he couldn't immediately articulate, they seemed wrong to him. Evelyn Harrison was next.
...
"Arthur Houghton, who was then the curator, took us down to see it," Harrison remembers. "He just swished a cloth off the top of it and said, 'Well, it isn't ours yet, but it will be in a couple of weeks.' And I said, 'I'm sorry to hear that.'" What did Harrison see? She didn't know. In that very first moment, when Houghton swished off the cloth, all Harrison had was a hunch, an instinctive sense that something was amiss.
A few months later, Houghton took Thomas Hoving [...] down to the Getty's conservation studio to see the statue as well. Hoving always makes a note of the first word that goes through his head when he sees something new, and he'll never forget what that word was when he first saw the kouros. "It was 'fresh' - 'fresh,'" Hoving recalls. And "fresh" was not the right reaction to have to a two-thousand-year-old statue.
...
the Getty's case began to fall apart. The letters the Getty's lawyers used to carefully trace the kouros back to the Swiss physician [...] turned out to be fake.
...
When [...] - all the others - looked at the kouros and felt an "intuitive repulsion," they were absolutely right. In the first two seconds of looking - in a single glance - they were able to understand more about the essence of the statue than the team at the Getty was able to understand after fourteen months.

Thus, the power of the subconscious mind. The power of the first two seconds, the first glance, the first impression that you get from a person - you just have that strange feeling about them and you can't trust them because of it.

Yes, the subconscious mind truly is a powerful tool. It gives our body what our conscious minds cannot; the ability to know with feelings. It also makes our bodies face our fears that are needed in order to struggle and be able to survive by haunting our dreams, or gives us the peace our body needs.

Our lives are ruled by the subconscious. They're like dreams... in their funny situations, tense and nightmarish ones and the good peaceful ones. We feed on them, they're what give us hope.
They also define who we are.

My life's like a dream; I can't help but wonder whose it is, and whether they're enjoying it.

Breaking the Chains:

"They say dreams are the windows of the soul--take a peek and you can see the inner workings, the nuts and bolts."

Henry Bromel

School of Friendship

2006-01-12T21:45:00.000+04:00

Don't you long for the days when everyone in your class was your friend? As a grownup at work, you simply have colleagues; or even a young adult in university, they're still colleagues and you don't know half of your classmates' names.

What struck me as funny about school was the fact that we actually believed that we'd stay "together forever." Making all these mini-campaigns and posters and writings poems and speeches and preparing for the big day and all that, putting in mind that you will still see these people that you shared an important part of your childhood with in the future.

Maybe it's what gave us kids hope. Or, maybe believing in such a thing so strongly was due to our naivety and inexperience of the outer world. I, myself, hated high school very much. The girls who studied with me were an absolute mess, and they would always find one reason or the other to pick a fight with me, and it would sometimes even get physical. Now all that I can tolerate, in every place there's the good and there's the bad. What I mostly hated, though, was the fact that our administration system would always justify other's acts and go against yours automatically. Actually, that's not fair to say that, cause they'd just justify the acts that would benefit them as an appearance and the such.
When I went to visit it recently with one of my good friends, we both felt our self-confidences taking a downward toll. Just the atmosphere about the place, the coldness and the lack of warmth in hospitality and treatment put us back as the girls who hated to wake up for school each day, only going because it's what they should do.

Perhaps I never did care for staying "together forever" despite my ex-classmates' vain efforts to have small reunions; I'd usually ignore the invitations, would only rarely go depending on the hostess. So graduating and leaving them was never such a big deal for me, it was more like a Godsend, I'd finally get rid of them and of that dreaded environment.

I never did care for high school, but I absolutely loved my elementary stage. Everyone would share their food, help friends in need, share crayons and stand up for each other. What I mostly loved was the strong sense of patriotism we held for our class and sections, for example, grade 3B was the best grade in the whole school, better than 3A and 3C and etc. and this was especially demonstrated during the activities the school held for its students, sports day being one of them. I do long for the days when everyone in my class was my friend; I long for the fifth grade so badly...

Breaking the Chains:

"The deepest definition of youth is life as yet untouched by tragedy."

Alfred North Whitehead

Tagliatelle di Pollo di Smeraldo

2006-01-12T21:13:00.000+04:00

Once upon a time, I used to be a member in this forum which I was very fond of. They once had a cooking contest where they'd give you the ingredients and tell you to make up whatever you wanted from them.

Anyway, I just wanted to share my submission:

Ingredients:

6 or 7 boneless chicken thighs

5 shallots, peeled and chopped (green onions)

0.420 grams of broccoli (2 packets)
6 tablespoons olive oil
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
250 g tagliatelle
5 tablespoons spreadable cheese (Kiri)
1 garlic clove

Preperation:

Prepare boiled pasta (tagliatelle), boil for 30 minutes and then drain

Heat the oil on a frying pan, fry the shallots for around 2 minutes

Add the chicken and continue to cook for around 5 minutes or until it's no longer pink

Prepare cheese mixed with pounded garlic while frying. Add broccoli, cheese with garlic, salt, and pepper. Stir and cook for 5 minutes.

When done, mix with pasta.

and Bonne Appetite!

Breaking the Chains:

"Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."

Mark Twain

Thou, thee, midst, whilst and all that Shakespearean language

2006-01-12T20:13:00.000+04:00

I've always been a fond fan of Shakespeare. His style in writing as well as his thoughts make a great combination that result in a great writer.
I remember reading the section of the Romantic Era in my literature book during highschool, and there was never a section I enjoyed more. I would read out loud with such passion, and always got chosen to loudly recite the readings.

This piece was one of my favorites. I absolutely loved his satiric style and the mimicry used. Here, he's making fun of how the poets of his age would describe women as having "eyes like the sun, lips so red, breasts so white, rosy red cheeks and etc."

Sonnet 130

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.

And this, I thought, was one of his most romantic (as well as one his most famous):

Sonnet 18

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.

Finally, this is one of his most famous pieces as well. He speaks of death, the metaphorical death of youth and passion not the literal one of body (symbolized in "black night"). He talks about aging in the beginning (yellow leaves and etc.) then goes into the fact that his young friend fears the death of his youth. It might seem depressing, and it is; yet I see it as pure genius as well:

Sonnet 73

That time of year thou mayst in me behold
When yellow leaves, or none, or few, do hang
Upon those boughs which shake against the cold,
Bare ruin'd choirs, where late the sweet birds sang.
In me thou seest the twilight of such day
As after sunset fadeth in the west,
Which by and by black night doth take away,
Death's second self, that seals up all in rest.
In me thou see'st the glowing of such fire
That on the ashes of his youth doth lie,
As the death-bed whereon it must expire
Consumed with that which it was nourish'd by.
This thou perceivest, which makes thy love more strong,
To love that well which thou must leave ere long.

These three poems are by far my favorite Shakespearean ones. What's amusing about them is that they all tackle simple topics (making fun of exaggerations; romanticism and aging) and are crafted in a beautiful and magnificient way.

Breaking the Chains:

"While thou livest keep a good tongue in thy head."

William Shakespeare

"The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool."

William Shakespeare

The Eye of the Beholder

2006-01-11T15:56:00.000+04:00

They say that beauty is in the eye of its beholder. I believed in that saying.

Once, during high school, I made something for the art class. My teacher told me that she didn't like it and that it wasn't art, I told her that art is in the eye of the beholder; she replied with, "No, beauty is." And that really made me think...

What is art, really, if not a form of expressing yourself in? In university I've learnt that one famous artist defined art as a form that should answer three questions: What is the artist trying to express? Does he or she succeed? Was it worth the effort?

I've also learnt that art cannot truly be defined because people's standards for judging what is or is not art are completely subjective. Now that, I classify as beauty because what is beauty completely depends on how a person perceives it.

So is art in the eye of its beholder? Is it a piece of art if the artist intends it to be so? We all have different eyes, different ways of analyzing and judging things...

Your friend's are others' enemies, and your enemies could be friends with your friends.

What may be beauty or art to me could be a useless piece of junk to you.

Inspiring People:

Dots: Sweet thing and always there for me! 7ejjin mabroor o thanbin ma'3foor, missing you. Trdeen bil salameh inshallah
MD: Ever ;) the great thinker and deep swimmer, thank you for sharing your priceless gifts of knowledge
Insomniac: Good listener and great at giving advice, thank you so much.
Someone: For your skill at drawing smiles on people's faces with your brush ;) that spills laughter

Breaking the Chains:

"Art is the desire of a man to express himself, to record the reactions of his personality to the world he lives in."

Amy Lowell

Selfish Love vs. Sincere Love

2006-01-07T22:03:00.000+04:00

Do you believe in such a thing? It's interesting how when you love someone, that love can be absolutely selfish; or, it can be sincere.

For example, let's say that your best friend is going to leave the country and study abroad. You get upset and don't want her to leave you. Now this is called selfish love, it's because you love yourself more than the person that you claim to love. If you sincerely loved her, you would have been happy for her and wanted her to be happy and gain as much as she can out of this experience. Some girls even get upset when their best friend gets married, thinking that she'd leave them and live her life with her husband. Or even if a friend wasn't there for you when you needed her/him, you get all upset instead of thinking of what they were doing.
Another example is a person's death. You get upset that they left this world and left you. Instead of you being joyous for their gaining a place in Heaven, you act on your selfishness and get upset, making them get tortured in their grave.

Now this is not to say that such actions cannot be justified, for we are all human beings here with emotions. We get jealous, upset, happy, excited, depressed and so on. I've been told that the only time such an action of getting upset and the such can truly be justified is when the person you love is hurting themselves by doing something wrong. Like doing illegal things for example, or perhaps engaging in sinful acts.

The true and sincere love is very hard to find, and very rare. It's the kind of love where a person, even in their worst moments, puts you before them. This can be argued of course, where asking for another's help if you needed it is crucial in such situations especially since the other party would feel much better if being in the know at the moment rather than after it (that is, if it was their feelings that would be considered).

Relationships between the opposite sexes in our society are mostly based on gaining a feeling of security and are thus selfish. They are not, in any way, sincere. Think about it, these things are usually started in order to gain a feeling of security in order to cope with the hard times that are went through. Those relationships almost never work, even if they did end in marriage, for they will be rocky ones.
True love between two members of the opposite sex is very rare, but it does exist. Fishing for a good partner that doesn't base feelings on one emotion (most probably, security) and puts their partner in front of them in everything, is absolutely honest with them and trusts them so much is what makes true love the most seekable feeling ever; it means respect, honesty, trust, security and comfort. That, among other things. Some people settle for a few of those components, and try and make things work out. Others have them all, and those are the luckiest.

That's the difference between selfish and sincere love as I understand it, others might have different perspectives.

Breaking the Chains:

"Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command."

Alan Watts

Dreams... Do they ever come true?

2006-01-06T20:16:00.000+04:00

Man dreamt of flying; if he spoke of it before the industrial revolution or at the start of it, people laugh and scoff at his ridiculousness. Flying was absolutely unheard of, only birds flew! He never gave up on his dream though, he kept it and passed it on to generations to come.
The first man to ever try flying was an Arab, he invented this contraption that was made of wings that he could attach to his arms. He went up a high building and attempted to fly. His attempt, though, had a tragic result.
That didn't stop man from dreaming... By the early 1900's man finally came up with a device that could take him up into the air. The results of dreaming could be extremely satisfying. With pure determination and a strong will to make things happen, the wildest dreams come true. They just need a sound mind, powerful perseverance and the courage to take them on and to overcome the fear of failing. Nothing happens without a few (even tragic) failures at the beginning of them.

Will my dream ever come true?
I dream of a fresh start, a new hope and a stronger backbone to an excellent future. I might hold the abilities needed, yet I just need a consent. I pray so hard for it to happen, and I know of the negative aspects but I am very much prepared to battle them in order to get to what I'm looking for.
Because I am afraid of taking that dream, and afraid of acting on it, in my mind's eye I picture the dream as a fantasy that will never happen...

A handsome face that holds a strong jaw, has sparkling blue eyes that lie beneath a helmet that is crafted from the finest iron, and an air of respect spread to those who come near takes on a quest; the quest of taming a unicorn. He searches tediously for the damned unicorn until he finally gains the fruit of his efforts.
He gawks at the unicorn, in awe of the magnificient beauty that is in his presence. While taking one final look at the bewitching creature, he takes out his glitzing sword and then closes his eyes as he mounts it. Surprisingly, it didn't fight him nor try and shake him off. It simply obliged, and flew him back to his homeland, where he had something to show for the dangerous quest that he had taken.

Maybe such accomplishments only exist in fairytales, where love can conquer all, where peace lives every where, where one can be six and where hair can grow as long as a few kilometers and even more.. All depending on the length of the imagination a person wants to take it to.

Are dreams the harvest of a wild imagination? Can they only somewhat be put into action? And most importantly, can they and will they ever come true?

I suppose that the answers to these questions lie in taking actions that will underline them... to see whether they can exist as a reality or not. It's worth the high risk of dissapointment.
Now all that's needed is a bit of courage.

Breaking the Chains:

"You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?'"

George Bernard Shaw

Pen and Paper

2006-01-05T22:31:00.000+04:00

I strive to reach a successful future in writing; writing poetry, short stories, novels... etc.

My success is an elusive baloon, waiting for me to grab it, floating from side to side with the wind, across oceans, big green meadows, trees and brooks, rustic pastoral scenes and rain-swept sidewalks. First high, barely visible, far out of reach, then low, almost within reach, blown here and there by the vagaries of a playful wind, a wind one moment heartless and sadistic, the next gently compassionate. The wind of fate, and in it rests our lives.

Dear brown penny, at the bottom of the well,
will I ever find heaven in this forsaken hell?
My soul's slowly drifting like dust in the wind
My heart's dead, that's why I tread on all that's sin
So I ask, brown penny, will I love again?
I truly fear you'll answer, so I'll drop my pen...

-drops pen-

-picks up pen again-

I still cling onto hope, like a child on a blouse
Only to expose cleavage that seizes to arouse
I took the leap of faith and broke both my legs
And just like Humpty Dumpty, faith breaks like an egg
So all of a cupid's arrows and all encouraging men,
can't put my broken heart back together again!

Click here for source

They're writings such as the above poem that give me the will and inspiration needed to keep on writing and aspiring for to sketch and create such a beautiful piece. Also, learning swift tricks and tips such as how important descriptions are in writing is one sure way of developing and progressing towards a better future, no matter how hazy it seems at the present, for it's just a few steps at a time. The smallest things do make the largest differences.

Pen and paper, as simple as you may be
You still give others the chance to see
The feelings, expressions and ideas
Experienced and lived, shared with glee

Take my hand and take me far away; not too far to escape from reality, yet far enough to experience an overwhelming feeling of euphoria. Just give me that rush as I hear your soft scratches brushing over the paper, ever so gently. Perhaps this quick rush of feelings - like those experienced when having a crush on someone - is just what I needed to add a bit of spice to my day.

Breaking the Chains:

"Beneath the rule of men entirely great,
The pen is mightier than the sword."

Edward Bulwer-Lytton

A Favorite Past-time: Video Games

2006-01-04T14:25:00.000+04:00

Once upon a time there was a little girl whose father bought a brand new Super Nintendo (the old one, Super Nes) for her and for her brother to play on. The first game that they both had ever played was Aladdin. Of course, since the girl was older and this is how siblings rule over each other, she got a say in who plays first and who does what. Her brother would sit next to her, wide eyed, watching the colorful screen perk up in front of him as his sister defeated guard after guard in her quest to get to the horrible Prime Minister, Jafaar, who was keeping Princess Jasmine with him.

They had only known the Atari before the Super Nes, the one that their uncle owned and played ping pong on. Whenever they'd go to their grandmother's house, fights with their cousins over who got to play next erupted. Magically, though, whenever a game would start, they would all turn quiet and stare at the screen, bewildered by what was going on, encouraging the lucky family member who got hold of the joystick to defeat the unruly pixelated monsters appearing on the screen. Encouraging the family member to win, and to do them proud.

Yes, this is how those children were. They would fight over who got to win the game and show off his or her video gaming skills, but after that would be resolved there is peace for a few minutes while someone is taking their turn. When the game is over, the same cycle repeats itself all over again.

Then, with the passing of time, technology developed and more advanced games were made with more players being able to handle more joysticks and have joint games. By that time, the girl and her family grew up a bit. She would defeat her elder male cousins and their times in games, and to prove herself further, engaged in real rough combat with them on the streets whenever they played. She would be the only female member of the family to be seen between a sea of white kandoura's and black slippers. Her uncle would sometimes see her there and tell her to enter the house and play with plastic figures with her other female cousins. She'd nod her head in respect, and as soon as she'd spy him leave the house, she'd run back out and finish up with her cousins. Once, she even tolerated the severe burns of a rash on her hands caused by her catching a fast ball kicked by her cousin who was the best football player around them as she was playing goalie. She held back her tears, raised her head up high, curved her red sweaty cheeks and smiled. They all cheered for her. It was one happy moment for her.

Her envious female cousins would tease her about spending a lot of time with her male cousins. The reason, she explained, was because she thought that this girly stuff was boring. She liked life with a bit of spice and action, not one spent making imaginary dreams of what Prince Barbie would marry and what clothes would go with her pink makeup. Once, one of her female cousins was playing a video game and she gave the girl the joystick so she would see what she would do. At first, she laughed at her because the girl was just making the character of the video game walk around in circles. Later, though, she became awestruck as she saw how far the girl had made the character progress, it was something way beyond her expectations. She began to see the young girl in a new light, and held respect for her.

Then, when the girl would go out into the yard and onto the grass to play football with the boys, her female cousins would cheer on her and encourage her to stop balls and throw them (she was usually chosen as a goalie for her apt skill in that area). Later on, though, the girls found the guts and came out from the stands and onto the field where the games were played. They started participating, and for a short period of time even made their own girls' squad.

Those girls grew up, and so did the boys. They all went their different ways, hardly ever meeting at all as young adults, for they're each busy with their own lives.
The girl though, the main character of this tale, grew up to appreciate the small pleasures that such games give. She learnt that even the simplest things in life matter. They would remind her of the old and dusty days, and still give her the same feeling of excitement and joy for finishing yet another level and defeating yet another boss that she used to experience when playing Aladdin for the first time.

Such pleasures never grow old...

Breaking the Chains:

"Computer games don't affect kids, I mean if Pac Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music"

Marcus Brigstocke

Wars of the Digital Age

2006-01-03T22:27:00.000+04:00

We have google on one side, weighing in 800 pounds with a height of 6 feet.
Microsoft and Yahoo are on the other side of the ring, weighing in at 700 pounds each with a height of 7 feet for Microsoft and 5"9' for Yahoo.

This is how it really is behind these digital giants, if they were boxers.. You'd see them at each other's throats!

Just five years ago, Microsoft Corp. was considered the Big Bad Wolf of the media business.

Armed with a stockpile of cash and the Windows operating system that dominates office computing, Bill Gates' company was expected to huff and puff its way into America's living rooms as well, with video game consoles, home networking systems and TV set-top boxes.

But today, there's a different wolf at the door. Although Microsoft is still flush with $40 billion in cash, it is Google Inc. that the media industry fears most. So intense is Google-fueled paranoia, in fact, that industry watchers believe the Internet search giant could drive profound changes in the media, entertainment and technology landscape in 2006.

Taken from this article, which will tell you why in details...

To sum it up, though:
Google is making new and cheap PCs that will be sure to rock the world of Microsoft blind and have Bill Gates and crew look for other ways to regain its top position in the digital market. They're already doing ridiculous things, albeit smart ones.. Microsoft trying to buy yahoo for 80 billion (more than three quarters of its original cost) and Yahoo declined saying that the price wasn't enough. Google is offering loads of free stuff, gmail for one! 2 gegabytes of free space, 2 GB, for free! Msn hotmail only offers as much as 250 MB, and that's only if you were a U.S. resident.

I wonder who will win in the long run.
Anyway, it's doing us consumers real good.. The more competition, the cheaper products will be in order to let consumers want to buy their brand.

Breaking the Chains:

"One is left with the horrible feeling now that war settles nothing; that to win a war is as disastrous as to lose one."

Agatha Christie

True Happiness...

2006-01-03T13:59:00.000+04:00

...truly is a state of mind!

You already know how to make yourself happy and successful.
You knew it best when you were younger.
You have simply forgotten!

It is just so obvious and right in front of us that it amuses me how many people overlook it so easily! Maybe it's because of how hard you look for it.. For truly, the harder you work to find it the harder it will be to actually obtain it. Just sit back and relax and focus on whatever you're doing, it'll hit you sooner or later.

Happiness is not the past and not the future.
Happiness is the present moment!
It is about now!

When you are fully engaged in what you are doing your mind doesn't wander and you are happy. You are intent only on what is happening at that moment.

Being in a total state of happiness means focusing on what is happening right now! It means appreciating the gifts that you are given every day. While many think that life is complicated, in truth, things are only as complicated as you want them to be. Think simply, and they shall be simple. Think of things in a complicated manner, and they shall be complicated.

Imagine the following situation: You're upset at not getting the promotion you were seeking at work, and you spend your days in the office daydreaming during meetings and the such of what could've been if you had gotten that promotion.
Or here's another situation: You tell yourself that you really will be happy if such and such happened.

It's important to point out that happiness is not a state of being.
It's not about being somewhere, some place, or with someone.
Happiness is simply a state of mind and NOT being.

You are as happy as you want to be, as long as you focus on the good things offered to you now, not thinking about what could've been and what could be.. That is when you shall acheive an state of mind that is happy.

Being happy means focusing on what is, right now.
It also means focusing on what is right, now.

This makes sense, because whenever we're in a bad situation we usually focus on what's wrong and that gets us down and discouraged.

Even in the most difficult situations,
When you focus on what is right in the present moment,
It makes you happier,
And gives you the needed confidence and energy to deal with what is wrong.

Even in the most difficult situations, such as experiencing the pain encountered with the death of a close loved one, this is put into practice. Pain in the present, like everything else, is constantly changing. It will come and go. When you stay fully in the present and have felt the pain, and feel drained by it, you can begin to look for what is right, and build on it.

Being happy means tuning out distractions.
And paying attention to what is important, now.
You create your own happiness by what you give your attention to.

It is important to experience painful experiences and learn from them rather than try and distract yourself with something else. Put yourself in the now whenever you experience something bad, because if you ignore it then it tends to grow and you will get hurt very badly when you eventually have to face it. Taking gradual doses is better, and is also good to learn as you go along.

Focus on what is happening at the moment.
Appreciate what is right about the situation and build on it.
Pay attention to what is important now.

It is hard to let go of the past
If you have not learned from the past
As soon as you learn and let go
You improve the present

Many of the people who have the same difficulties were worried about the mistakes they had made, or about the mistakes they were afraid to make. Some are angry about something that had happened to them in work in the past.
The people who were doing well concentrated on their work at that moment. They made mistakes like everybody else, but they were able to learn from them, let go, and move on. And they did not talk as much about what was wrong.

It seems as though most of those who are experiencing difficulties, rather than look at their past and learn from it, choose to ignore it. Many people avoid looking at the past, because they do not want to be troubled by it. They say things like, "My past experiences brought me to where I am today." They don't ask themselves where they would be today if they had looked at their past experiences, and learned from the things that didn't go well. As a result, they learn nothing.
So, they keep making the same mistakes. In those areas, their present is just like their past. When you do not use your feelings about the past to learn from your experiences, you lose the joy of the present. Once you have truly learned from the past, it is easier to enjoy the present. While it is true that one must not live in the past - for then you are not living in the present - it is important to use the past in order to learn from your mistakes. Or, if you've done well in the past, look at why and build on your successes.

Anytime you are unhappy in the present
Or are feeling unsuccessful,
It is time to learn from the past
Or plan for the future

Only two things can rob you of the joy of the present: your negative thoughts about the past, or your negative thoughts about the future.
The time to learn is anytime to make the present better than the past. When you feel upset, or have any other negative feelings about the past that are interfering with the present, that is when you need to take the time to look at the past and learn from it.

It is a good time to learn when feeling something negative because you can use your feelings to teach you. The best way of learning this is to ask yourself three questions:

What happened in the past?
What did I learn from it?
What can I do differently now?

You think about a mistake you made, and see how you could do it differently now. Don't be too hard on yourself. Remember that you did the best you knew how to at the time. When you know better now, you can do better now.
So, when you behave in the same way you get the same results. But, when you behave differently, you get different results. The good news is the more you learn from the past, the fewer regrets you have, and the more time you have to spend in the present.

Look at what happened in the past.
Learn something valuable from it.
Use what you learn to improve the present.

You cannot change the past,
but you can learn from it.
When the same situation arises,
you can do things differently
and enjoy a more successful present.

The last element to true happiness is the future. For while it is not wise to be in the future, because that is how you lose yourself in worry and anxiety, it is important to plan for the future.
The only way to make the future better than the present, other than to get lucky, is to plan for it. Even if you do happen to get "lucky," your luck can run out. That can lead to deeper problems and a whole new set of issues to deal with, so you can't depend on getting lucky.
Planning for the future reduces fear and uncertainty, because you are actively taking steps towards future success. You know what you are doing and why you are doing it. Planning for the future relates to being in the present, because once you have prepared for the future, you can enjoy the present with less anxiety. Planning takes much of the guesswork out of what you need to do each day. You have a road map. It lets you focus on what you need to do in the present to help bring about the future you want.
So, by planning for the future you can be more fully in the present.

No one can predict or control the future.
However, the more you plan for what you want to see happen,
The less anxious you are in the present,
And the more the future is known to you.

A lack of planning, both at work and in our lives, is the most common reason we fall short of our dreams and goals. You plan for the future anytime you want to make it better than the present.
The best way to do that is by thinking about these three things:

What would a wonderful future be like?
What are my plans to make it happen?
What am I doing today to make it happen?

The more you can paint a realistic vision of what you would like your future to look like, and believe it is possible to acheive, the easier it is for you to create your plan. And once you have a plan, you need to continually revise it as you gather more information and experience, so that the plan becomes more realistic.
The important thing is to do something every day, even if you think it is a small thing, to help make that wonderful future happen.

Picture what a wonderful future would be like.
Create a realistic plan to help it happen.
Put your plan into action in the present.

When you don't plan or set goals, or anticipate future problems, you lose your way. You're more likely to spend time on things that don't really matter, and leave less time for the things that really need your attention. That's why you sometimes feel overwhelmed. You don't take the time to plan first and work on your plan.

You may want to think of the three parts of happiness as a tripod supporting a valuable camera, perfectly balanced by its three supporting legs: Living in the present; Learning from the past; and Planning for the future.
Remove one leg and the tripod topples over. But supported by all three, it works. And so will your life. However, if you are not in the present, you will not be aware of what is going on. If you have not learned from the past, you are not ready to plan for the future. And if you have no plan for the future, you are adrift.
When you balance your work and life on a tripod of happiness: the past and the present and the future - you get a much clearer picture. And you can deal better with whatever comes along.

Living in the present, learning from the past and planning for the future is not all there is. It is only when you live with Purpose and respond to what's important about the present, past and future, that it all has meaning.
Living with purpose means not just knowing what to do, but why. Working and living with purpose is not some grand scheme or life plan. It is a practical approach for every day life. It means rising each day and seeing what meaning it will hold for you and others as a result of your actions.

How you respond depends upon your purpose,
When you want to be happy and more successful
it is time to be in the present moment.
When you want the present to be better than the past
It is time to learn from the past.
When you want the future to be better than the present
it is time to plan for the future.
When you live and work with purpose,
And respond to what is important now,
You are more able to lead, manage, support, befriend and love.

Some people choose to receive this knowledge about happiness when they are young. Others when they are in the middle age. Some, when they are very old. And some people never do.

Success is becoming who you are capable of being,
And progressing towards worthwhile goals.
Each of us defines for ourselves what it means to be successful.

It's just too simple...

True Happiness

Be In The Present
When you want to be happy and successful
Focus on what is right now,
Use your purpose to respond
To what is important now.

Learn From The Past
When you want to make the present better than the past
Look at what happened in the past.
Learn something valuable from it.
Do things differently in the present.

Plan For The Future
When you want to make the future better than the present
See what a wonderful future would look like.
Make plans to help it happen.
Put your plan into action in the present.

Remember, the skeptimists will ignore this valuable piece of information and will remain unhappy. Those who believe and have faith in the simplest things are those who will strive, learn, be successful and most importantly, be happy.

Ideas taken from Spencer Johnson's book, The Present

Breaking the Chains:

"The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it."

C.P. Snow

"Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast - you also miss the sense of where you are going and why."

Eddie Cantor

Goodbye 05, Welcome 06!

2006-01-01T17:24:00.000+04:00

To many, New Year's is just a normal day just like any other. To them the only difference that it makes is a new calendar and the use of 2006 instead of 2005 in writing dates.

I used to think of New Year's in the exact same way, and maybe I still kind of do. This time, however, I'm beginning to change my perception of it a bit; for while it may be true that New Year's day does not by any means mark the time when we should look back and ponder on how our lives were spent and how to work for a better future because that is something that we should do every once in a while, New Year's day still serves as a reminder of what could have been.. and of what could be..

So, I have thought of the following:
The highlights of 2005 were.. getting to know certain people better, learning how not to take things for granted, being more daring, exploring more areas and gaining more courage, being inspired by many, learning how to choose and know who truly deserves my time, always ask for the best and never settle and let the least satisfy me, not to let others influence my decisions.. that and other things that I don't really remember right now.

What I want to accomplish asap (thank you '06 for reminding me to ponder)... To look at the world through happy eyes not sad ones, never fear hurting others on the expense of my own misery because what I thought might hurt them could just do the opposite in the long run, take my emotions out, be more cautious, be more alert, look out for signs, stop daydreaming too much, work on acheiving specific goals, write more poetry (look towards publishing), perhaps write a story, attend a workshop, go to a gym, get the courage to ask for things (studies - maybe buffalo), don't refuse a good deal out of fear, act to conquer fears and overcome them, live for the future rather than in the present, stop living in the past and just learn from it and move in, stop making up excuses, stop procrastinating, seek confidence from within, try and be there more for those I care about, be more religious and closer to God...
I can't recall any more

Check this link for priceless New Year tips

Happy New Year!

Breaking the Chains:

"Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right."

Oprah Winfrey

Nights are the Worst

2005-12-30T02:01:00.000+04:00

When you can't get something out of your head, and you try so hard to sleep it off yet you wake yourself up with that unbearable thought that has been swimming in your head ever since you can remember. Will it ever get better?

Just when you think that you're starting to move on, that things are finally getting better, that your mind isn't busied with that one thought that you thought you couldn't get rid of.. something always comes up that triggers it again. Maybe a mention of it, or maybe even the thing itself which you are trying so hard to avoid jumps back.

You can't deny it, it's simply not possible. It's right there in front of you; the mention of it will exist, it will never cease. You try to tell yourself that in order to move on you have to learn to live with it, but why is it so hard...?

It's not just one thought that's in your head, it's numerous thoughts. You're trying to get over something while ignoring flashbacks of painful memories and trying to get over a fear all at the same time. Other thoughts are crawling at the back of your head, dividing your hair in the middle and crawling inside its roots making its way to your mind in order to inhabit it. You'd think that if you had anti-thought spray, it'd all be consumed at night. Maybe then you'll get rid of the many questions that are bothering you and you'd be able to have a peaceful sleep...

Plastering a plastic smile on your face is just too exhausting, yet you keep telling yourself that it's okay and that everything is absolutely fine. Maybe if you kept repeating it often enough, you'll start to believe your own little lie.

Exhaustion takes its toll on you, you sleep for a few minutes only to be awoken by the cursed thoughts. It puts you in such a cranky mood that your dearest notice it on you no matter how much you try and ignore it. You tell them that you're fine, and you tell yourself that also.. but if you were fine, why is it that you're too afraid of going back to sleep even though you feel so tired? Afraid of what you could dream of.. or what would wake you up?

You go downstairs, and you open the lights. You keep staring at them for a moment, letting a dizzy rush take its effect on you for a moment, staring at the translucent lights that are sinking onto the kitchen counters. You automatically switch on the oven heat, open the cabinet and take a packet out, and pour the contents onto a cooking pan.. and let nature take its course. The aroma of cooked food fills the place. In your half-awake state, you try and get out some pepper and chilli powder. fumbling with them, but in the attempt so much of it is thrown onto your face that you can't help but sneeze so loudly and tear in the process. The tears then turn into sobs; soft ones though, as it's so late and you don't want anyone to hear. You're thankful for the sneeze, it let you take out a bit of what you felt inside, even if it was for only a few seconds.

You go back up to your room. You're starting to feel queasy from all the food you've eaten. You go to the bathroom to throw it up but you can't.. you're just too exhausted, you feel so drained out.

You'd think that being drained out would want to make you go to sleep wouldn't you.. yet it just scares you even more, because that means that sleep is coming near. You don't want the thoughts back just yet, you're not ready...

So you open your blog, and write it all down.. maybe, just maybe, putting it off for a bit is going to make it that much easier to bear.

Breaking the Chains:

"Thought is only a flash between two long nights, but this flash is everything."

Henri Poincare

Have Faith, You Win a Little and Lose a Little

2005-12-24T22:55:00.000+04:00

Sometimes you'd want to forget about people you used to love, or still love, because thinking about them would hurt you because you know in your deepest of deep hearts that you shouldn't go on. You know this especially when you loved them so much and they didn't return those feelings, or claim to yet don't show them.

I just wrote this last night, albeit not one of my best yet just needed to let it out:

Sweet heart, do not fall
For a memory long past
Instead look beyond the horizon
For a future that will last
Don't deny that you cannot love
Then that would mean to hate
And if you say neither exist
Then our existence overstayed its due date

***

Sometimes, I would fill myself with rage
For fear that I would receive unreturned feelings
But now I think that there is no such thing as unreturned feelings
The pay is certain - one way or another
It let me write these words

The stars are seperating them, each is a different entry.

Breaking the Chains:

"It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all."

Samuel Butler

How to Convert Videos into your Video iPod

2005-12-24T22:34:00.000+04:00

I've had many problems with this when I first bought the iPod. I checked the apple website and found out that I'd have to register for Quicktime Pro, which I did, but it took an average of 30 hours to convert a two hour movie! So I looked for other options, I was looking for something free.

I found the magical program:

Videora iPod Convertor, click here to download it
This link is going to help you figure out how to convert from your DVD's or video files to your video iPod!
I'm beginning to like Videora... It can convert to many other formats too

Breaking the Chains:

"No matter how slow the film, Spirit always stands still long enough for the photographer It has chosen."

Minor White

My Favorite Fruits

2005-12-24T21:15:00.000+04:00

Mandarins

"Tangerine is the common name for a variety of Mandarin orange. The mandarin
orange is native to southeastern Asia and has been widely cultivated in
orange-growing regions of the world. The tangerine resembles the orange but is
smaller and oblate in shape and has a more pungent odor, a thinner rind, and
sections that may be readily separated. It has a food value comparable to that
of the orange, but the fruit is more delicate and subject to damage in
handling."

They're sweet and so tasty, but I have the weirdest habit in me where I would reject them if they were already peeled, cause I have to peel them myself or else they won't be tasty to me. Also, I always look for the small pieces, cause they don't have any seeds in them and are easier to chew. They're also sweeter.

Watermelons

- Watermelon's official name is Citrullus lanatus of the botanical family Curcurbitacae and it is a vegetable. It is related to cucumbers, pumpkins and squash.
- A watermelon was once thrown at Roman Governor Demosthenes during a political debate. Placing the watermelon upon his head, he thanked the thrower for providing him with a helmet to wear as he fought Philip of Macedonia.
- Early explorers used watermelons as canteens.
- Watermelons are more than 90% water. That's how it got its name! For that reason, in ancient times travelers used them as a source of transportable water.
- They vary in size and shape. The Japanese recently even developed a SQUARE watermelon!

A sweet, drippy and juicy fruit that tastes so good, especially from its core. I would sometimes cut a watermelon in half, grab a spoon and eat from the area in the center of it, ignoring the seeds and enjoying its sweet taste. If I'd cut it with its rind (outer green part) then I'd cut the parts with the seeds and literally eat the watermelon with its green parts as well. Call me a watermelon lover!

Green apples

Was it Sir Isaac Newton who said, "I wouldn't know what gravity was if it hit me over the head"? It seems he was in for a surprise. There he was, sitting under the old apple tree, minding his own business, when a ripe, juicy apple plunked down on his head and, well, the rest is history.

He may not have been able to answer the question "how" the apple fell, but he might have asked the question "why" the apple fell. He may have pondered, "That apple has been sitting on that tree for weeks. It's gone through rainstorms and strong winds and it never fell off. And now, after it turned a tantalizing bright red color, it decides to fall on my head. What is this, some kind of wake-up call?"

So he thinks about it. "Did I ever realize before that all fruits - apples, oranges, bananas, plums, peaches, grapes and cherries are all totally green before they ripen, and that they blend in perfectly with the leaves of their tree's? Maybe that's so that no one will notice them and pick them until they're ready.

Green apples are sour yet sweet, definitely one of my favorites as well.

Mangosteen

Most mangosteens are harvested in the Far East. It takes about 15 years before the mangosteen tree fruit bears fruits.

It's a sweet and chilly fruit, one that's wrinkly as well. Just like old people, with all their wrinkles and all there's a pure sweetness inside of them that is so sugary to your tongue. I like them fat and ripe, they're nice to hold and take in.

Rambutan

Why does this picture remind me of one of those microscope bacteria things we'd see in the science lab when we used to go to school?

Rambutan's are hairy, scary and ugly on the outside yet contain a sweet white pulp on the inside. It's like they say: Everyone has a heart of gold, so does a hard-boiled egg.

Note: Some facts are pasted from the internet

Breaking the Chains:

"Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast."

Douglas Adams

Words that Struck Me

2005-12-20T12:30:00.000+04:00

Taken from the lyrics of Evanescence's song, "Breathe No More":

I've been looking in the mirror for so
long.
That I've come to believe my souls on the other
side.
Oh the little pieces falling,
shatter.
Shards of me,
To sharp to put back together.
To small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little
pieces.
Lie to me,
Convince me that I've been sick
forever.
And all of this,
Will make sense when I get better.
I know the difference,
Between myself and my reflection.
I just can't help but to wonder,
Which of us do you love.

Don't most of us have two people living inside us? Our reflection and ourselves? They're chains that people make, according to how they judge us... Be brave enough to break them by being smart.

Breaking the Chains:

"Be yourself and no one else."

Someone dear to me

Feeling Down Remedy: A Spoonful of Positive Thinking

2005-12-14T15:40:00.000+04:00

We all go through bad times every once in a while, for this is life and in life there come the good times with the bad. The real challenge in facing bad situations, though, is how to deal with them. We are created to learn not to pause. To keep thinking of it is a recipe to disaster, and planning on how to overcome it is the recipe to success; that is, success in feeling better and moving on. Forget about the past and think about the future, but don't fear it just think of it in positive terms and you will gain the fruit of your effort that way.

I recently went through something that absolutely shook me and also made me take a life changing decision in the process. To be miserable in the beginning is natural, it's just human nature to want to take it out. After taking it out comes the proccess of thinking, first of all thinking of how to avoid experiencing a similar situation in the future; next, thinking of how to overcome this miserable state and how to move on. Finally, we move on and that's the end of that; of course, we keep smiling!

In taking it out:
Having a friend to talk about it with is a really good way of taking it out, you feel like half of your worries vanish when you do that. Other ways can be taking it out by thinking about it or by writing; writing really does help to vend off some steam. Also, reading pieces - especially ones with soothing words - can be extremely helpful. Going back to the Quran and praying a lot is extremely reassuring too.

In overcoming it:
We shouldn't let it control us - that is, form our lives due to its happening - and we should break the chains that it tries to wrap around us. Busying ourselves with other things is one thing that really helps; take out that list of things to do that you never really got around to doing and start doing some of them. Cook, garden, read, write, hang out with friends and enjoy your time. There are countless activities to do when you think of it, you just have to want to do them in order to have a good time and possess a large grin on your face (which is pretty easy to do, you just stretch your lips!). Someone once told me that bubble baths work wonders. Oh, and by thinking that it will be okay then it will be okay!

In moving on:
Just have the will to do it, and be strong because you can overcome anything once you set your mind to it. Nothing is worth being miserable, and only positive thinking and good blueprinting that things will turn out fine and having the knowledge that everything happens for a reason is what will help you move on. Keep imagining yourself in another situation, and compare your situation with someone in a worst situation, believe me it really makes you feel better about yourself and your situation, it makes it seem small compared to that one!

Remember:
In the Chinese language, words are always made up of two things. The word "crisis" is made up of the words "opportunity" and "danger". Now that the danger is over, take the opportunity to learn from it; learn how to challenge yourself in overcoming it and how to avoid it in the future, plus, look for other lessons for it's always the hidden and seemingly insignificant lessons that make all the difference.

Things are meant to be, be them good or bad; yet usually, they always turn out for the best. And so, have faith in your Creator for He loves you. And whenever you feel like you reached the most miserable state ever then know that after every climax there comes a decline, and after every worst miserable state there comes a decline and happiness is to come.

I've lived through all of the above and I can really base it on every bad situation I've been through. Thank you, to everyone who stood by me and helped me through this, I really appreciate it. Outside help makes all the difference on the inside.

Note: Check this link for stress relievers

Breaking the Chains:

"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."

Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

I'm Mental, I'm Not Guilty!

2005-12-10T21:58:00.000+04:00

Should the mentally ill be regarded as guilty of crimes they have commited? Should they be jailed or treated first?

I'd personally say that they have to be treated first because considering the fact that they're mentally ill, the atmosphere of prison could very well depress them and lead them to have suicidal thoughts; or, they could get really angry and unleash it on their fellow inmates. Maybe they shouldn't even be jailed at all. When thinking of it thoroughly, it isn't really their fault as they weren't fully conscious when they commited the crime. It's not like they intended to do it, their brains simply have chemicals that they cannot control, chemicals that affect their nerves and actions that they don't even know of.

A recent article in Gulfnews.com showed that some of the mentally ill people who have not commited a crime are placed in jail with the other inmates because, as prison officials believe, some of them should not be housed in medical facilities as some of them could be "dangerous".

Dr Tourky said the prison takes good care of the non-criminal mentally ill
patients who are jailed because there is not enough space for them in the
hospital. "They are not criminals. We take care of them. They are considered
high priority," he said.
...
For those deemed suicidal or dangerous, he said prison officials ensure there are no sharp objects or anything that can be turned into a weapon. "Anything they can use to harm themselves or others," said Dr Tourky. He said prison officials also screen inmates for infectious diseases.
- Gulfnews.com

In the article, it is stated that the jail houses a number of patients - some children - who have communicable diseases, and adults and children are all housed together. A mentally ill patient was found dead in a Sharjah jail some days back, and the police are investigating whether it's a murder (in which case I think that the mentally disturbed should definitely not be placed with inmates who are in their full conscious mind in order not to be taken advantage of) or whether it's a suicide (which simply proves my above point regarding the pressure that jail atmospheres serve the mentally ill).

The Ministry of Health may build a separate facility to house mentally ill
patients in the UAE, depending on need.
- Gulfnews.com

I think that a medical institute for mentally ill patients is desperately needed.

Dr Gamil Tourky, assistant director of the preventive medicine department at
Sharjah medical district, said building the facility depended on the magnitude
of the problem.
- Gulfnews.com

A mentally ill patient was found dead, children and adults alike with communicable diseases are housed under the same roof, and as if that's not enough, but psychiatrists themselves say that patients should not be housed with criminals.
The above says everything that there is to say about the Ministry of Health in the UAE. Let's hope to see changes in the facilities offered by the government, it's safe to say that many things should be undertaken regarding this issue.

Click here for the original Gulfnews article.

Breaking the Chains:

"What we call 'Progress' is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance."

Havelock Ellis

It Takes Two to Tango

2005-12-10T08:44:00.000+04:00

In all relationships, be them friendship or love or a parent/child relationship, even business relationships, whenever something goes hayward there are always two sides to blame. Granted, one of the partners of tango could be worst than the other in dancing tango, so that partner takes the other one down with him/her. Sometimes, though, one of the partners would stick the blame to him/herself, thinking that all the blame should be situated towards him/her when in fact what they're doing is just carrying their blame and the other party's blame, and that's the most common case with the thoughtful people that I know; others, though, would throw all the blame on the other partner - completely disregarding their great influence in the fact that the relationship or whatever it is went down - and exit the place as a completely innocent angel who had nothing to do with whatever happened. It usually happens when they try to escape the consequences of tangoeing and screwing up at that dance that they don't accept full responsibility by throwing all the responsibility on the other person.

I once read something that I really liked, it's always said that whenever someone complains about their being no people in a photo you should reply, "There are always two people in a photo, the photographer and the viewer." Maybe if we took that saying literally, portrait photos would include all types of photos.

The point is: just like tango, it takes two nations to form peace between them, it takes two partners to make a relationship work or be destroyed, it takes two to make and/or destroy something. All that you need is to find a partner that is at the same level as you are in dancing tango, not less than you so that your partner takes you both down, and not more than you so that you take your partner down. One of you could even be dancing to a different song. Sometimes, it could be the same song, but the two of you simply don't dance with each other, you're each lost in your own rhythm. Your partner might step on your foot or you step on your partner's foot once in awhile because one of you had to trip. It's sometimes funny though, how it's not the loser that tripped.

Breaking the Chains:

"If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison, it went a lot faster with two people digging."

Joe Martin

Breaking the Chains

2005-12-09T20:30:00.000+04:00

I wanted to write something about breaking chains, but I didn't know what to write, so I asked an angel that owns a big part of my heart of what to write, and she said,

write how free we might seem or look yet we have chains all
over us .. big chains and really tiny invisible chains chains even in our
hearts.. souls .. some of which we can break so easily but some we simply
struggle or loose hope in breaking them.. some could be broken mby a sweet word,
a sweet guesture .. others.. you need a lot of convincing.. where is the key of
these chains.. and who chained us.

And that settled it, so I will.

Why does the caged bird sing? It looks around, in hopes of getting out it first scratches the cage with its beak until it bleeds; then, it flies around the cage to see if there could be an exit somewhere, a little open door that was forgotten. It is vicious and ferocious at that time. After giving up, the bird starts to greive its existence in this cage, knowing that it's almost impossible to leave it. It looks outside the cage, and wonders how it would feel like to be free again. It then starts singing, a melodious chirp that beautifully paints a wide grin on people's faces. Isn't it strange how a sadness is the cause of someone else's happiness?

There's this Arabic poem with a line that says, "Don't mistake my laughter between you as a joyous chirp, for a bird could be dancing from the horrendous pain." I like to think that this line relates to a lot of people who mask their pain with a smile on their face, maybe by using a red marker to draw that smile and hide those tears. Exactly like clowns, they smile a smile that was forced, not one that was drawn by happy (or maybe endorphic) feelings.

Someone - angelic - summed that up pretty well:

These days, the clowns i know are people with a painted
smile on their faces and yet a depressed soul...People who'd tell you they are
fine.. who'd act like they are fine.. yet we all know.. me, you, and them that
they are not at all "fine". They hide behind the painted smile and the red nose.
Is that a good sheild ? Not when our souls know them so very well to a limit
that they could see beyond those colors and paints.. !Don't we all do that? Act
like those kind of clowns? Maybe we should learn how to be a clown with a saying
;) Who knows.. we might be rich :p

Maybe someone should get a file, and file our way out of this mess, out of the mental chains that we granted ourselves that were caused by the chains that society locked us in and family, by turn, made the lock tighter with. A file would just make a mess though, it would leave scratches and a big trail of metal dust. Of course, the process would be tedious and would take ages, no one said that metal is easy to break, it needs a lot of patience and strength.

Easier yet, just find the key to unlocking the chain to unlock it at once instead of trying to use brawn and physical strength. Brain overcomes brawn and makes it easier to unlock hidden mysteries, lost keys to chains being one of them. So it's a matter of choice really, either find the key and expect a few scratches in searching for them here and there, or go through the long and tedious process of filing them. Filing is easier of course, as you will get what you want in the end: Freedom. Brains are the smarter choice, cause if we were to get lucky then we'd find the key, and if not then it was simply a waste of time.

I'd choose brains, for I believe that nothing is a lost cause; anything and everything has an answer to it.

Welcome to my blog!

I'm Seraphic and I'm locked in tight chains, trying to untighten the knot as I go on.

Breaking the Chains:

"For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others."
Nelson Mandela