Thursday, July 13, 2006

Grief

My great grandmother passed away yesterday morning... الله يرحمها و يغمد روحها الجنة

Freud expressed a "death instinct" present in human beings. Is it possible for anyone not to be conscious of the concept?

The topic of death has always intrigued me, especially after reading a piece someone wrote online on the book, "Tuesdays with Morrie". Didn't you notice that dying old people become softer and sweeter as time passes? The closer you are to death, the softer you become. Most probably, it's due to the realization of your mortality. You know that you will die soon and you don't want anyone to hold any grudges against you.
Not knowing when we're going to die truly is a blessing. People wouldn't be so ambitious if they knew when they were going to die. If I knew that I only had a few hours left I wouldn't spend them on planning something; I'd spend them with loved ones and would pray.
Why do people gather when someone is born, and gather again when that person dies? Births and funerals serve to remind people of life; one is a happy occassion and the other is a sad one.

A friend told me yesterday that she had sat during a lecture on death. Apparently, the people who are already dead welcome the people they know who had just died into the after-life as one would welcome an honored guest. It made me think about who would be there to welcome my great grandmother; could it be my grandmother? Or maybe my great grandfather? I don't really know.
We also discussed another topic. Were you to die in a war, would you still feel the piercing bullets tear through your body even after your heart stopped beating? Does the soul feel what the body is going through after its death? Do those who get cremated after their death feel the burning flames lick their skin?

I once asked my 4th Grade tutor whether or not the Prophet (May Peace and Prayers Be Upon Him) cried when his wife died. She gave me a speculative look and replied, "Why should he cry when he knew that she was going to go to heaven? He should be happy for her." So I asked her whether or not he cried when his uncle died, to which she responded, "Why should he? His uncle is going to hell; why waste his tears on a sinner?"
That made me think: Why cry?

Only those who are extremely confident in what they spent their life are the ones who aren't afraid to let go and die, because they know that they'll be generously rewarded in the after-life.

My great grandmother was a soft spoken old lady. Her manners were those of your typical Arabian old lady; extremely polite and - expectedly - traditional. Her eyes had always intrigued me. They were green. She and a few of my cousins in KSA were the only ones in the family with such eyes. They were extremely powerful and, at times, frightening for their powerful glow. However, one soft smile from her would take all my fears away. The wrinkles running across her eyes when she smiled were magical; you couldn't help but smile back.
Most importantly, she had passed away in Mekkah - the holiest of places - and for that I am extremely thankful.

اللهم ارحم جميع موتى المسلمين

3 comments:

Dots.. said...

sweetheart..its okay to cry isnt it? i know you miss her.. and i know it was difficult for you to be here and not there... believe me she's in a better place in shallah..


love you

Seraph said...

and i love you too

thank you for being there :)

hopelessness said...

There are free MP3s for dealing with fear, hoplessness, grief and more at www.innertalk.com/mp3#free. They really help.