Tuesday, January 03, 2006

True Happiness...

...truly is a state of mind!

You already know how to make yourself happy and successful.
You knew it best when you were younger.
You have simply forgotten!

It is just so obvious and right in front of us that it amuses me how many people overlook it so easily! Maybe it's because of how hard you look for it.. For truly, the harder you work to find it the harder it will be to actually obtain it. Just sit back and relax and focus on whatever you're doing, it'll hit you sooner or later.

Happiness is not the past and not the future.
Happiness is the present moment!
It is about now!

When you are fully engaged in what you are doing your mind doesn't wander and you are happy. You are intent only on what is happening at that moment.

Being in a total state of happiness means focusing on what is happening right now! It means appreciating the gifts that you are given every day. While many think that life is complicated, in truth, things are only as complicated as you want them to be. Think simply, and they shall be simple. Think of things in a complicated manner, and they shall be complicated.

Imagine the following situation: You're upset at not getting the promotion you were seeking at work, and you spend your days in the office daydreaming during meetings and the such of what could've been if you had gotten that promotion.
Or here's another situation: You tell yourself that you really will be happy if such and such happened.

It's important to point out that happiness is not a state of being.
It's not about being somewhere, some place, or with someone.
Happiness is simply a state of mind and NOT being.

You are as happy as you want to be, as long as you focus on the good things offered to you now, not thinking about what could've been and what could be.. That is when you shall acheive an state of mind that is happy.

Being happy means focusing on what is, right now.
It also means focusing on what is right, now.

This makes sense, because whenever we're in a bad situation we usually focus on what's wrong and that gets us down and discouraged.

Even in the most difficult situations,
When you focus on what is right in the present moment,
It makes you happier,
And gives you the needed confidence and energy to deal with what is wrong.

Even in the most difficult situations, such as experiencing the pain encountered with the death of a close loved one, this is put into practice. Pain in the present, like everything else, is constantly changing. It will come and go. When you stay fully in the present and have felt the pain, and feel drained by it, you can begin to look for what is right, and build on it.

Being happy means tuning out distractions.
And paying attention to what is important, now.
You create your own happiness by what you give your attention to.

It is important to experience painful experiences and learn from them rather than try and distract yourself with something else. Put yourself in the now whenever you experience something bad, because if you ignore it then it tends to grow and you will get hurt very badly when you eventually have to face it. Taking gradual doses is better, and is also good to learn as you go along.

Focus on what is happening at the moment.
Appreciate what is right about the situation and build on it.
Pay attention to what is important now.

It is hard to let go of the past
If you have not learned from the past
As soon as you learn and let go
You improve the present

Many of the people who have the same difficulties were worried about the mistakes they had made, or about the mistakes they were afraid to make. Some are angry about something that had happened to them in work in the past.
The people who were doing well concentrated on their work at that moment. They made mistakes like everybody else, but they were able to learn from them, let go, and move on. And they did not talk as much about what was wrong.

It seems as though most of those who are experiencing difficulties, rather than look at their past and learn from it, choose to ignore it. Many people avoid looking at the past, because they do not want to be troubled by it. They say things like, "My past experiences brought me to where I am today." They don't ask themselves where they would be today if they had looked at their past experiences, and learned from the things that didn't go well. As a result, they learn nothing.
So, they keep making the same mistakes. In those areas, their present is just like their past. When you do not use your feelings about the past to learn from your experiences, you lose the joy of the present. Once you have truly learned from the past, it is easier to enjoy the present. While it is true that one must not live in the past - for then you are not living in the present - it is important to use the past in order to learn from your mistakes. Or, if you've done well in the past, look at why and build on your successes.

Anytime you are unhappy in the present
Or are feeling unsuccessful,
It is time to learn from the past
Or plan for the future

Only two things can rob you of the joy of the present: your negative thoughts about the past, or your negative thoughts about the future.
The time to learn is anytime to make the present better than the past. When you feel upset, or have any other negative feelings about the past that are interfering with the present, that is when you need to take the time to look at the past and learn from it.

It is a good time to learn when feeling something negative because you can use your feelings to teach you. The best way of learning this is to ask yourself three questions:

What happened in the past?
What did I learn from it?
What can I do differently now?

You think about a mistake you made, and see how you could do it differently now. Don't be too hard on yourself. Remember that you did the best you knew how to at the time. When you know better now, you can do better now.
So, when you behave in the same way you get the same results. But, when you behave differently, you get different results. The good news is the more you learn from the past, the fewer regrets you have, and the more time you have to spend in the present.

Look at what happened in the past.
Learn something valuable from it.
Use what you learn to improve the present.

You cannot change the past,
but you can learn from it.
When the same situation arises,
you can do things differently
and enjoy a more successful present.

The last element to true happiness is the future. For while it is not wise to be in the future, because that is how you lose yourself in worry and anxiety, it is important to plan for the future.
The only way to make the future better than the present, other than to get lucky, is to plan for it. Even if you do happen to get "lucky," your luck can run out. That can lead to deeper problems and a whole new set of issues to deal with, so you can't depend on getting lucky.
Planning for the future reduces fear and uncertainty, because you are actively taking steps towards future success. You know what you are doing and why you are doing it. Planning for the future relates to being in the present, because once you have prepared for the future, you can enjoy the present with less anxiety. Planning takes much of the guesswork out of what you need to do each day. You have a road map. It lets you focus on what you need to do in the present to help bring about the future you want.
So, by planning for the future you can be more fully in the present.

No one can predict or control the future.
However, the more you plan for what you want to see happen,
The less anxious you are in the present,
And the more the future is known to you.

A lack of planning, both at work and in our lives, is the most common reason we fall short of our dreams and goals. You plan for the future anytime you want to make it better than the present.
The best way to do that is by thinking about these three things:

What would a wonderful future be like?
What are my plans to make it happen?
What am I doing today to make it happen?

The more you can paint a realistic vision of what you would like your future to look like, and believe it is possible to acheive, the easier it is for you to create your plan. And once you have a plan, you need to continually revise it as you gather more information and experience, so that the plan becomes more realistic.
The important thing is to do something every day, even if you think it is a small thing, to help make that wonderful future happen.

Picture what a wonderful future would be like.
Create a realistic plan to help it happen.
Put your plan into action in the present.

When you don't plan or set goals, or anticipate future problems, you lose your way. You're more likely to spend time on things that don't really matter, and leave less time for the things that really need your attention. That's why you sometimes feel overwhelmed. You don't take the time to plan first and work on your plan.

You may want to think of the three parts of happiness as a tripod supporting a valuable camera, perfectly balanced by its three supporting legs: Living in the present; Learning from the past; and Planning for the future.
Remove one leg and the tripod topples over. But supported by all three, it works. And so will your life. However, if you are not in the present, you will not be aware of what is going on. If you have not learned from the past, you are not ready to plan for the future. And if you have no plan for the future, you are adrift.
When you balance your work and life on a tripod of happiness: the past and the present and the future - you get a much clearer picture. And you can deal better with whatever comes along.

Living in the present, learning from the past and planning for the future is not all there is. It is only when you live with Purpose and respond to what's important about the present, past and future, that it all has meaning.
Living with purpose means not just knowing what to do, but why. Working and living with purpose is not some grand scheme or life plan. It is a practical approach for every day life. It means rising each day and seeing what meaning it will hold for you and others as a result of your actions.

How you respond depends upon your purpose,
When you want to be happy and more successful
it is time to be in the present moment.
When you want the present to be better than the past
It is time to learn from the past.
When you want the future to be better than the present
it is time to plan for the future.
When you live and work with purpose,
And respond to what is important now,
You are more able to lead, manage, support, befriend and love.

Some people choose to receive this knowledge about happiness when they are young. Others when they are in the middle age. Some, when they are very old. And some people never do.

Success is becoming who you are capable of being,
And progressing towards worthwhile goals.
Each of us defines for ourselves what it means to be successful.

It's just too simple...

True Happiness

Be In The Present
When you want to be happy and successful
Focus on what is right now,
Use your purpose to respond
To what is important now.

Learn From The Past
When you want to make the present better than the past
Look at what happened in the past.
Learn something valuable from it.
Do things differently in the present.

Plan For The Future
When you want to make the future better than the present
See what a wonderful future would look like.
Make plans to help it happen.
Put your plan into action in the present.

Remember, the skeptimists will ignore this valuable piece of information and will remain unhappy. Those who believe and have faith in the simplest things are those who will strive, learn, be successful and most importantly, be happy.

Ideas taken from Spencer Johnson's book, The Present

Breaking the Chains:

"The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it."

C.P. Snow

"Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast - you also miss the sense of where you are going and why."

Eddie Cantor


Dots said...

I am so in love with this piece..
everytime i come to comment i'd read it again and it would seem like the first time i read it..

It really gives you a good boost of happiness.. wallah wayid 7elwa.. i mean I LUUUUUUUUUUUVED IT BIG TIME ..

Am so proud of you.. *hugs*

Seraph said...

*hugs back*

maybe it's just too long lool that's why u felt chi. thanks sweetheart, u shud really read this book one day.. it's great!

I Have a Dream said...

Thanks... It came on time.

Seraph said...

no problem, hope it helped.